The subject of (blush) sex.

Of all the things novelists have to deal with, the most difficult may be portraying sex and romantic affection in their writings. Why is it that such a large and important part of life is so hard to manage in text form? I think it goes deeper into the heart of the matter if we can sum it up quickly in a few points and then elaborate and discuss.

1. It is a subject that even most adults are still uncomfortable discussing openly. An uncomfortable author may find it no easier to put on paper than to discuss it.

2. How to deal with it in text without being offensive to readers is just an educated guess, at best. How to make it non-offensive to the originating author may be just as difficult.

3. Is it really necessary to the storyline? Only you can answer that question. Again, this leaves you wide open to possibly offending others.

I can only speak from my personal experience. Having been on both sides of the tracks, so to speak, I have read my share of racey novels. Often it is painfully obvious that they are written for nothing more than the most prurient of reasons. I do not consider this to be romantic, nor do I consider it to be particularly entertaining or creative. The authors of this type of book seldom, if ever, gain any widespread respect from other writers or from readers. This is the type of book you hide from your spouse or parent and sneak a peek at when no one is home. Nothing to be proud of or to share--unless your relationship is very unusual.

While writing Shining Armor, and especially in the first two books of the series, I had to deal with this question intimately (if you will pardon the pun). As I have said before, the book reflects many facets of me as a person. Without going into my history, let's just say that it isn't only my imagination that is overactive and leave it at that. Being the hopeless romantic that I am (note that I did not say accomplished), I wanted to include some romance in the story--actually some real animal attraction, to be honest. In the first book, Ron and Denise are playing 'chase and avoid'--who is chasing and who is avoiding may not be as you think. And it may not be for the reasons you think, either. There are some real moral and emotional dilemmas going on here. They are madly in love and want to marry, but the timing isn't right to pursue some things just yet. Too much other conflict in their lives. The second book has them married and on their honeymoon in Hawaii (I don't think I've given away enough of the plot to ruin the story for you--it is called The Evil Returns--'nuff said).

The fact is that a married couple, especially a newly married couple is going to behave differently from a dating or engaged couple. In order to portray that difference, I had to make some references to their physical love for one another--after all, who goes on a honeymoon and shows no physically romantic involvement? The trick was to do so in a tasteful manner that expressed their adoration for one another without describing all the sleazy details of their lovemaking. As my wife would say, it is sufficient to show they love one another, but you don't want to feel like a spectator or participant in their bedroom. Even then the story takes some unexpected turns, preserving good taste and adding more intrigue. Any description I must make of how Ron feels about her physically is more like a list of how he worships her beauty, not how much he lusts for her. It is romantic, respectful and touching. It will also give a female reader insight into how a man truly feels about the woman he loves. Feelings are so important to the love that a man has for a woman and that she has for him. Though there are sounds to describe, scents to describe, tactile sensations such as warmth of breath on skin, etc., these retreat to a distant second place when compared to what is happening emotionally. If you can describe that emotion in sufficient detail to make the reader gasp or cry, you have no need to resort to baser techniques and descriptions of physical contact. Accomplishing this and doing it well will make you stand out from the crowd of authors that have no inclination or ability to perfect this technique.

Something that surprised me as I looked over the work of famous female romance writers in the local bookstores was this: they wrote much more steamily than did I. This was a genuine surprise to me. We are raised to believe that men are so much more visually stimulated than women, but these descriptions were very visual to me, having the imagination that I do. But then, women are more moved by words than men usually. I guess that I have been blessed with both traits. I felt, however, that I was personally unable to write in that manner for any general consumption. Instead, I wanted to hone my finer skills, to woo my readers, not force feed them--gently enticing them to follow and having them come of their own accord into the tale I would weave. What these female writers have done is to resort to the cheap methods of men of earlier decades who wrote pulp sex novels with graphic details--written primarily for men. How ironic is that? There was no art in this, no elegance as of a fine sculpture, no intricacy as of finely-woven linen. I wanted to take a different approach. Whether it will pay off for me is yet to be seen, but in the final analysis I have been true to my art and true to my heart.