I have recently found a nice site that is a good beginning showcase for those wanting to display samples of their work. The first 25 pieces are free to list. Give it a look, as this is an easy way to send your friends to a single site that will allow you to be appreciated for your talents. The chance of being seen by other authors is there, too, but in the two weeks that I have had some of my work posted, there have been no responses, so be aware that this could happen to you, as well.
If you would like to try this, at least know that the more places your name and work appear on the internet, the more chance you have of gaining ranks in the search engines, although it is not an easy task, to be sure.
Check out my own example at editred.com/stevengodell/Uploads
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
You Are Immersed In Great Ideas
What if I were to tell you that you are totally surrounded, fully immersed, nearly drowning in good ideas for stories? You would probably not believe me, but that's okay--I can take it (sniff, sniff...whimper).
Literally every time we need an idea, it may already be right at our fingertips (because "at the tip of our brains" sounds so bizarre--besides, the fingers should be typing or penning anyway, right?). However....even writers get carried away with the worries of everyday life and get distracted from what they want and need to concentrate on. Perhaps it is the next plotline or the fleshing out of a character for their story. It is hard to think of that when you are driving kids to the doctor or shopping for tires or a myriad of other things that demand your attention and are yelling, "me first!" It is not, however, impossible. And, it may in fact be much easier than you think. I have the same shortsightedness quite often and find that the answer is usually close at hand. (It is making the time to actually do the writing that is the hard part.)
Often a story is more believable and interesting precisely because it is lifelike, so what you may need to do is include some things that are a lot like real life--maybe your life. Now, before you gag, just hear me out. The answer to what your characters lack in depth may be staring you right in the face. There are things you may hear of or run into everyday that could be your answer to a new plotline or a twist you need--maybe a whole new character to introduce. For example, I suddenly came up with a brainstorm recently that surprised me by the simplicity (then again, you may think it is just simple-minded). Who would think a story could be inspired by a single-term medical condition, but that is what motivated me. The term? Amnesia. Can you write a story around that concept? Sure. And I think it is a great title, too. I recall Robin Williams starring in a movie in which Robert DeNiro had a severe medical condition through much of the film. And Martin Short was in one where the girl had amnesia. (No, I am not just ripping off the idea. I just now recalled that and it was a comedy, while mine will be a thriller--cut me some slack, okay? Besides, I have about thirty more ideas for plots in mind).
The whole plot for a story could be determined by a disease (epidemic movies), by political conditions (All the Presidents' Men--the original one) or any of a number of things. I guess the whole point is that all we need do is look around us and see the "distractions" themselves as ideas that could have a story built around them. I also have an idea that I want to work on that will be focused around the 'Practical Joke' theme. I think a movie based on it would be a real hoot.
Practice the approach of taking a theme or singular idea and using it as a focal point to construct a short story around. Let's say for a moment that you were the one writing about Practical Joking--who in your story might be the most likely victim? The likely perpetrator? The enablers and the snitches? What would be an appropriate revenge? What lesson is to be learned in all of this silliness? For a change, mix up the usual expectations and stereotypical role assignments of the characters. Let the women be strong and the men cowards and fools. Let the children amaze the community with their wisdom. I recently saw the movie Taxi and listened to the director commentary about halfway through (I can see why he is the director and not the actor) and there was a lot of talk about the role assignment changes and twists to the usual expectations in films. This made it all the more interesting as a film. (Trivia Bit: Did you know that R2D2 and C3PO in the Star Wars films were patterned after Laurel and Hardy? A perfect example of the technique twisted to portray characters and make the inhuman more lifelike, Also, "R2D2" came from 'Reel 2, Dialogue 2' and it stuck).
What you want to do as a writer is to stand out from the crowd and the way you stand out is to be different, daring, bold and unique. Even your treatment of an old subject can be successful if it is fresh. I once heard someone remark that public speaking is "the same old hash--it just depends on the cook". I think the same goes with writing. After all, writing is just public speaking put into a from that lasts longer, is it not? And if you need some inspiration, go to the library and browse the index cards--you may be surprised to find yourself literally immersed in great ideas after all.
Literally every time we need an idea, it may already be right at our fingertips (because "at the tip of our brains" sounds so bizarre--besides, the fingers should be typing or penning anyway, right?). However....even writers get carried away with the worries of everyday life and get distracted from what they want and need to concentrate on. Perhaps it is the next plotline or the fleshing out of a character for their story. It is hard to think of that when you are driving kids to the doctor or shopping for tires or a myriad of other things that demand your attention and are yelling, "me first!" It is not, however, impossible. And, it may in fact be much easier than you think. I have the same shortsightedness quite often and find that the answer is usually close at hand. (It is making the time to actually do the writing that is the hard part.)
Often a story is more believable and interesting precisely because it is lifelike, so what you may need to do is include some things that are a lot like real life--maybe your life. Now, before you gag, just hear me out. The answer to what your characters lack in depth may be staring you right in the face. There are things you may hear of or run into everyday that could be your answer to a new plotline or a twist you need--maybe a whole new character to introduce. For example, I suddenly came up with a brainstorm recently that surprised me by the simplicity (then again, you may think it is just simple-minded). Who would think a story could be inspired by a single-term medical condition, but that is what motivated me. The term? Amnesia. Can you write a story around that concept? Sure. And I think it is a great title, too. I recall Robin Williams starring in a movie in which Robert DeNiro had a severe medical condition through much of the film. And Martin Short was in one where the girl had amnesia. (No, I am not just ripping off the idea. I just now recalled that and it was a comedy, while mine will be a thriller--cut me some slack, okay? Besides, I have about thirty more ideas for plots in mind).
The whole plot for a story could be determined by a disease (epidemic movies), by political conditions (All the Presidents' Men--the original one) or any of a number of things. I guess the whole point is that all we need do is look around us and see the "distractions" themselves as ideas that could have a story built around them. I also have an idea that I want to work on that will be focused around the 'Practical Joke' theme. I think a movie based on it would be a real hoot.
Practice the approach of taking a theme or singular idea and using it as a focal point to construct a short story around. Let's say for a moment that you were the one writing about Practical Joking--who in your story might be the most likely victim? The likely perpetrator? The enablers and the snitches? What would be an appropriate revenge? What lesson is to be learned in all of this silliness? For a change, mix up the usual expectations and stereotypical role assignments of the characters. Let the women be strong and the men cowards and fools. Let the children amaze the community with their wisdom. I recently saw the movie Taxi and listened to the director commentary about halfway through (I can see why he is the director and not the actor) and there was a lot of talk about the role assignment changes and twists to the usual expectations in films. This made it all the more interesting as a film. (Trivia Bit: Did you know that R2D2 and C3PO in the Star Wars films were patterned after Laurel and Hardy? A perfect example of the technique twisted to portray characters and make the inhuman more lifelike, Also, "R2D2" came from 'Reel 2, Dialogue 2' and it stuck).
What you want to do as a writer is to stand out from the crowd and the way you stand out is to be different, daring, bold and unique. Even your treatment of an old subject can be successful if it is fresh. I once heard someone remark that public speaking is "the same old hash--it just depends on the cook". I think the same goes with writing. After all, writing is just public speaking put into a from that lasts longer, is it not? And if you need some inspiration, go to the library and browse the index cards--you may be surprised to find yourself literally immersed in great ideas after all.
Writing That First Novel
Excellent article and advice from Robison Wells in his posting at latterdayauthors.com. How to approach the task...er, wonders of that first novel.
Lyric Writing
Over the years before I ventured into novels and novellas, I have been writing lyrics and poetry. My love for music in general and modern popular music specifically, has always been strong. Every now and then I start writing lyrics out of nowhere. One day it may be a country song, the next day a heavy metal rock song. I have even written a libretto for a stage play based on the Biblical book of Esther. How is that for variety? It even surprises me at times. I will try to cover a bit of that art now and then, but first an example of how bizarre my lyrical subjects can get. This one came, not because of a foul mood, as one might suspect from reading the words, but just out of nowhere, as they often do for me. A commentary on the nature of humanity in general, I guess. Feel free to comment on them yourself.
(When You) Act Your Rage--(C) 2005 Steven G. O'Dell
V.1
See--the air is turning red. I cannot got to bed. The anger lives inside of me.
Freed--the rage becomes a flood. I'm only wanting blood. Your hating cannot hide from me.
Br.
I can't tell how these feelings have come to me.
I can only know that they're crushing me.
V.2
Die--I only love myself. I cannot feel your help. Your pity cannot make me see.
Cry--There's nothing left to do. I have no use for you. The anger lives inside of me.
CH.
Nothing good can come of it, when you act your rage.
There is just no benefit and nothing's saved.
Nothing good can come of it.
You'll only reap regret from it.
Nothing good can come of it--when you act your rage.
Repeat Br.
V.3
Squeeze--my life is in your hand. Please make me understand--the anger that's consuming me.
Freeze--the coldness in my heart is where I have to start. It's killing all that's good in me.
Repeat CH.
When you act your rage!
Act your rage!
When you act your rage!
Act your rage!
When you act your ra-a-a-a-a-ge!!!
(When You) Act Your Rage--(C) 2005 Steven G. O'Dell
V.1
See--the air is turning red. I cannot got to bed. The anger lives inside of me.
Freed--the rage becomes a flood. I'm only wanting blood. Your hating cannot hide from me.
Br.
I can't tell how these feelings have come to me.
I can only know that they're crushing me.
V.2
Die--I only love myself. I cannot feel your help. Your pity cannot make me see.
Cry--There's nothing left to do. I have no use for you. The anger lives inside of me.
CH.
Nothing good can come of it, when you act your rage.
There is just no benefit and nothing's saved.
Nothing good can come of it.
You'll only reap regret from it.
Nothing good can come of it--when you act your rage.
Repeat Br.
V.3
Squeeze--my life is in your hand. Please make me understand--the anger that's consuming me.
Freeze--the coldness in my heart is where I have to start. It's killing all that's good in me.
Repeat CH.
When you act your rage!
Act your rage!
When you act your rage!
Act your rage!
When you act your ra-a-a-a-a-ge!!!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Sage Advice for Aspiring Writers
For an excellent article on advice to aspiring writers, check this link to author Joan Hall Hovey. Very sage advice that I can recommend highly.
http://www.angelfire.com/ca3/joanhallhovey/note.html
http://www.angelfire.com/ca3/joanhallhovey/note.html
Writing Humor
Humor is a part of life for us all. It is the oil that makes the machinery move without seizing up (and you thought it was money that did that!). We all know someone or something that makes us laugh. Why does it do that? Hard to say, as every one of us is different and we all see things differently. There are people who think Will Farrell is absolutely hilarious. I personally find him annoying. Then again, I like the Marx Brothers and more than one person has lifted an eyebrow to that revelation (no, you aren't the first). The fact is that humor is entirely subjective, as is any other type of writing.
Okay, then what makes one thing funny and another not? YOU do. No, really! Or the stimulus may be a trigger to a memory that seemingly comes rushing back out of nowhere (every time I see Dr. Pepper, I laugh, as I think of my wife calling it "carbonated prune juice"). Or it is from an out-of-place event that makes you laugh because of the juxtaposition of it all (look that one up in the right hand column, under dictionaries). Example? A man on horseback in the drive-through window at the local burger joint (maybe you grew up where this was a common event, but I didn't, so I laughed the first time I saw it). Another example--irony. When I was on my mission, I was snickering aloud at the names of some of the Canadian cities in the province I was assigned to--Moose Jaw, Moose Factory, etc. My companion, from British Columbia, asked where I was from and when I told him Mishawaka, he started laughing, too. Touche'. I deserved it and never forgot. Then, too, I laugh when I think of HIM, because he seemed so prim and proper, saying that "puns are the lowest form of humor" and then he played a tape of him and a friend playing telephone pranks a few years earlier. Do you see the humor in this as I did? He missed it, which made it even funnier.
Movies can be funny. Something really funny is when my wife tells me she thought it funnier to hear her family discussing a movie and laughing over it--then when she saw it, she thought, "THIS is what they were talking about? THIS isn't funny!"
Who knows why, but passing gas is funny (only in the right environment--meaning "not where it could embarrass you and your loved ones. A quiet library or in study hall is hilarious. After relieving yourself, just don't slap a quarter on the desk of the person behind you and exclaim, "I've got to hand it to you--I didn't think you would do it"). Once, when our oldest was very small, my wife and I were discussing it and our son piped up, "That's 'gusting!" And he was right, in both ways. Enough said. This may be another entirely subjective matter, after all. Feel free to move on. (Wait, did I just make a Freudian slip, as well?)
Unintentional humor is hilarious. Context dependant comments made subliminally. Okay, let me give an example. My wife has an unusual talent. She is highly suggestible, so it makes for some interesting and roll-on-the-floor episodes. For example, when I awoke one morning I had a bit of trouble with my equilibrium and commented that I was bouncing off the walls and walking like a drunk man. Her response? "I'm inclined to agree." Priceless! And funnier yet, she doesn't know she's done it until we all start laughing. On another occasion we were discussing the music of John Denver, a favorite of hers. Because of his untimely death and her love for his music (and our kids' liking for other types of music) she felt she must defend him, so she stated that his music was really good, but " personally, he just went off the deep end". Never mind the late hour--I am sure we woke everyone in the campground that night. My sides were hurting and I was nearly helpless for several minutes. And she kept asking, "What's so funny about that?"--which only extended the moment of helplessness for me. She is so good at this, I admire her for it. When the boys were once discussing projectile vomiting (hey, it's fascinating, okay?), she came in and asked, "Who brought THAT up?" [If you aren't laughing by now, you have no sense of humor at all.]
The obvious can be funny, if told right, because it is so typical (and stereotypical), perhaps. The absolutely ridiculous can be funny--something that will never happen, but would be quite humorous if it did. You can picture it as if it did happen and you laugh. Laughing can be funny to another person. Red Skelton was famous for laughing at his own jokes, even before he could get them out. The audience sometimes never got to hear the joke, because he was laughing too hard to tell it, but they laughed, too, just because it was so infectious. And sometimes when he did manage to get the joke out, it wasn't that funny, which made you laugh because HE thought it was and had such a hard time getting it out.
And speaking of the ridiculous, parodies can be funny. I have written a few below (I was inspired by the Jeff Foxworthy redneck line of jokes). Do you see any humor in them? Write some of your own--just for laughs--**snicker**.
WARNING! This humor approaches bizarre.
YOU MAY BE ACCIDENT PRONE IF...
You've ever fallen out of a pair of shoes.
Your bruises heal up and friends ask, "What happened to you?"
You have callouses on the side of your head.
You can fall upstairs.
People have tried to attach training wheels to you.
You once got a cell phone caught in your ear.
You get personally offended at slapstick comedy.
You know people around you are taking bets, but won't tell you why.
You get hurt while climbing the wheel-chair ramp.
You've ever cut yourself with a butter knife.
Standing up makes you very nervous.
Your standing up makes others very nervous.
You won't use a pencil sharpener because "mechanical things" scare you.
Others clear a room to "wait until you are finished with it."
The hospital has a welcome mat with your name on it.
The Guiness Book people have called you "because you are famous."
You are Evel Kneivel's hero.
Scientists want to study you and are willing to pay handsomely.
You have been hit by more than three meteorites...this month alone.
You have a permanent asphalt tattoo on your forehead.
Any sudden movements, like waving, makes others cringe.
You think using a file cabinet should be "left to the experts".
If mail addressed to your house is prefaced with, "Keep out of reach of..." and bears your name.
Your closest friends have had a special walker made for you, "just like the ones toddlers use, only bigger."
You're thinking of volunteering for a cloning project.
You've ever crossed your fingers because it was less noticable that way.
You have a "permanent wave" in your skull.
Inanimate objects seek to move out of your way.
The words "I'm going to..." meet with peals of laughter.
If everything in your house is decorated in early Nerf.
Your "train of thought" has ever resulted in a wreck.
You cut your finger on a string while practicing "air guitar".
Dinner forks make you break out in hives and give you hiccups.
You've ever had a tea cup removed from your esophagus.
A new wing at the hospital may soon bear your name, though you don't recall contributing anything.
You are the poster child for any medical organization.
Paramedics thank you for making their early retirements possible.
You get Christmas cards from Johnson & Johnson.
You refer to common sewing repairs as sutures.
You've been made an honorary lab rat.
You change a tire and can't pull your hand free without removing lug nuts.
You've been named the Ninth Wonder of the World.
You've ever pursed your lips and couldn't un-purse them.
You were told to "zip your lip" and got it caught in the zipper.
The mere act of waking up causes nosebleeds.
You discover you have several new wounds upon waking up.
And last, but not least, a definite sign: If you've ever gotten hurt while changing your mind, you may indeed be accident prone.
YOU MAY BE A LOUSY COOK IF...
Your dog starts howling each time you move toward the kitchen.
Your children really believe there is such a thing as the Charcoal Lover's Pizza.
You are always the "guest of honor" at all the church potluck dinners and as such have "no need to cook".
You think of beans and franks as exotic cuisine.
You make two kinds of Jello--smooth or crunchy.
Your biscuits are heavy as lead, but they won't go down.
A food fight with your cooking causes life-threatening injuries.
If you start hearing things like, "No thanks, I ate just yesterday."
If a new meal is greeted with, "Leftovers again?"
Your guests ask you to identify which are the peas and which are the carrots.
Your children start following dinner with ipecac and epinephrine chasers.
Several neighborhood dogs have died of mysterious circumstances.
Dry heaves are just a part of your life.
You've ever bought Pepto Bismol in the handy 5 gallon size.
Your family doctor has a stomach pump with your family crest on it.
Your dinner table has ever been quarantined and you were banished from the kitchen for extended periods.
Your family invented anorexia and bulimia.
More than seven of your favorite recipes use Ramen as the main ingredient.
The Surgeon General and several FDA officials are on a first name basis with you.
The World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control have adopted your family.
If Saddam Hussein ever asked you for your recipes.
Alka-Seltzer is considered a dessert in your home.
The makers of Raid, Black Flag and Roach-Prufe have all offered to buy you out.
Tour bus occupants drive by, slow down, point and shake heads, but never stop.
That "spontaneous picket fence" around your house is made entirely of handmade crosses, donated by anonymous caring individuals.
Your meat balls, when fired at high velocities, have been demonstrated to kill vampires.
A new and unusual syndrome has been dubbed in your honor.
If Anyone eating your home-made bread has ever broken a tooth or fractured a jaw.
Portland Cement Company has identified three new molecular structures in your biscuits.
Your dinner rolls may have newfound applications in rail gun and particle accelerator technologies.
The Department of Defense has classified your cooking as Top Secret in the interest of national security.
Your kitchen has ever been lovingly referred to as Ground Zero.
If your waste-basket or garbage disposal ever threw up.
The mere thought of "eating in" causes spontaneous diahrrea and vomiting in your family members.
If you find that cooking is the quickest and most effective threat you can make.
Your pancakes are often mistaken for the plate.
Your husband asks for more pancakes just before he goes skeet shooting.
Your children are caught skipping your pancakes across the lake and several ducks are hurt.
You discover your kids stacking your homemade cupcakes and running for cover when they begin to tilt.
The baby begins crying when you ask if anyone is hungry.
The fumes from your cooked cabbage can peel paint...at a distance of three blocks.
The FDA has asked you to attach a warning label to all your concoctions.
You've inspired Hollywood producers to consider a new approach to the Lethal Weapon series of films, but Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are afraid to star in it.
Your Peanut Butter/Tuna Noodle Surprise brought the house down--literally.
Your kitchen has been listed as a Superfund Cleanup site.
And a huge indication to consider: If shoe repairmen use your waffles because they last longer than synthetic soles, you may indeed be a lousy cook.
YOU MAY BE A HEAVY DRINKER IF...
You've ever awakened in the morning with "carpet face".
You don't recall your shoes being that color a moment ago.
Everywhere you go is uphill.
Close friends wear raincoats on sunny days.
You spend more than one minute digging for your car keys before you realize boxer shorts have no pocket.
You don't recall the door being there when you came in.
It has taken you more than 1 minute to find the door.
You've ever put your shoes on backward and it felt right.
Even the dog hides your car keys.
You're glad you drove because you were in no shape to have walked.
Your head is in the toilet more than your backside.
You ever tried to bum a dollar from a cop or a parking meter.
Just hearing the word "medicinal" makes you thirsty.
You ever answered a hiccup with, "I'll drink to that".
You've ever gone after more beer on your riding lawn mower.
You've ever tried to climb over a sidewalk.
If your idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand.
If you dress like the Michelin Man for safety reasons.
You conclude that you must have had a good time, because you can't remember a thing.
If you ever had more than one beer cap removed from a single body part.
If gravitational anomalies seem to focus around you in particular.
If someone burps and you holler, "Another round!"
If you've ever screamed, "Stop! Let me off!" while in a prone position.
You consider a day without alcohol to be "fasting".
You think of alcoholic drinks as 'staples'.
If you stargaze a lot during daylight hours.
You've ever tried to answer the phone and don't have one.
If you can name more local bars than Presidents.
If you don't like water because fish swim in it.
You've ever tried to put a drink coaster in your CD player.
You and your drinking buddies think you may have decoded the TV test pattern.
If you have ever had a "good conversation' with your dog.
If you have ever wondered why you can't get the fishing channel on the microwave.
If you ever hit the bottom stair and just kept going.
If the only thing on your Christmas list is beer.
You think Smith and Wesson is a new distillery.
If using the doggie door is easier than finding your keys.
If, when pulled over by a cop, you've ever said, "Oooh, look at the pretty lights...."
You've ever ordered another drink while wondering if you have a drinking problem.
And the biggest indicator of all--if you've ever set your hand on fire while blowing out a match, you may indeed be a heavy drinker.
Okay, then what makes one thing funny and another not? YOU do. No, really! Or the stimulus may be a trigger to a memory that seemingly comes rushing back out of nowhere (every time I see Dr. Pepper, I laugh, as I think of my wife calling it "carbonated prune juice"). Or it is from an out-of-place event that makes you laugh because of the juxtaposition of it all (look that one up in the right hand column, under dictionaries). Example? A man on horseback in the drive-through window at the local burger joint (maybe you grew up where this was a common event, but I didn't, so I laughed the first time I saw it). Another example--irony. When I was on my mission, I was snickering aloud at the names of some of the Canadian cities in the province I was assigned to--Moose Jaw, Moose Factory, etc. My companion, from British Columbia, asked where I was from and when I told him Mishawaka, he started laughing, too. Touche'. I deserved it and never forgot. Then, too, I laugh when I think of HIM, because he seemed so prim and proper, saying that "puns are the lowest form of humor" and then he played a tape of him and a friend playing telephone pranks a few years earlier. Do you see the humor in this as I did? He missed it, which made it even funnier.
Movies can be funny. Something really funny is when my wife tells me she thought it funnier to hear her family discussing a movie and laughing over it--then when she saw it, she thought, "THIS is what they were talking about? THIS isn't funny!"
Who knows why, but passing gas is funny (only in the right environment--meaning "not where it could embarrass you and your loved ones. A quiet library or in study hall is hilarious. After relieving yourself, just don't slap a quarter on the desk of the person behind you and exclaim, "I've got to hand it to you--I didn't think you would do it"). Once, when our oldest was very small, my wife and I were discussing it and our son piped up, "That's 'gusting!" And he was right, in both ways. Enough said. This may be another entirely subjective matter, after all. Feel free to move on. (Wait, did I just make a Freudian slip, as well?)
Unintentional humor is hilarious. Context dependant comments made subliminally. Okay, let me give an example. My wife has an unusual talent. She is highly suggestible, so it makes for some interesting and roll-on-the-floor episodes. For example, when I awoke one morning I had a bit of trouble with my equilibrium and commented that I was bouncing off the walls and walking like a drunk man. Her response? "I'm inclined to agree." Priceless! And funnier yet, she doesn't know she's done it until we all start laughing. On another occasion we were discussing the music of John Denver, a favorite of hers. Because of his untimely death and her love for his music (and our kids' liking for other types of music) she felt she must defend him, so she stated that his music was really good, but " personally, he just went off the deep end". Never mind the late hour--I am sure we woke everyone in the campground that night. My sides were hurting and I was nearly helpless for several minutes. And she kept asking, "What's so funny about that?"--which only extended the moment of helplessness for me. She is so good at this, I admire her for it. When the boys were once discussing projectile vomiting (hey, it's fascinating, okay?), she came in and asked, "Who brought THAT up?" [If you aren't laughing by now, you have no sense of humor at all.]
The obvious can be funny, if told right, because it is so typical (and stereotypical), perhaps. The absolutely ridiculous can be funny--something that will never happen, but would be quite humorous if it did. You can picture it as if it did happen and you laugh. Laughing can be funny to another person. Red Skelton was famous for laughing at his own jokes, even before he could get them out. The audience sometimes never got to hear the joke, because he was laughing too hard to tell it, but they laughed, too, just because it was so infectious. And sometimes when he did manage to get the joke out, it wasn't that funny, which made you laugh because HE thought it was and had such a hard time getting it out.
And speaking of the ridiculous, parodies can be funny. I have written a few below (I was inspired by the Jeff Foxworthy redneck line of jokes). Do you see any humor in them? Write some of your own--just for laughs--**snicker**.
WARNING! This humor approaches bizarre.
YOU MAY BE ACCIDENT PRONE IF...
You've ever fallen out of a pair of shoes.
Your bruises heal up and friends ask, "What happened to you?"
You have callouses on the side of your head.
You can fall upstairs.
People have tried to attach training wheels to you.
You once got a cell phone caught in your ear.
You get personally offended at slapstick comedy.
You know people around you are taking bets, but won't tell you why.
You get hurt while climbing the wheel-chair ramp.
You've ever cut yourself with a butter knife.
Standing up makes you very nervous.
Your standing up makes others very nervous.
You won't use a pencil sharpener because "mechanical things" scare you.
Others clear a room to "wait until you are finished with it."
The hospital has a welcome mat with your name on it.
The Guiness Book people have called you "because you are famous."
You are Evel Kneivel's hero.
Scientists want to study you and are willing to pay handsomely.
You have been hit by more than three meteorites...this month alone.
You have a permanent asphalt tattoo on your forehead.
Any sudden movements, like waving, makes others cringe.
You think using a file cabinet should be "left to the experts".
If mail addressed to your house is prefaced with, "Keep out of reach of..." and bears your name.
Your closest friends have had a special walker made for you, "just like the ones toddlers use, only bigger."
You're thinking of volunteering for a cloning project.
You've ever crossed your fingers because it was less noticable that way.
You have a "permanent wave" in your skull.
Inanimate objects seek to move out of your way.
The words "I'm going to..." meet with peals of laughter.
If everything in your house is decorated in early Nerf.
Your "train of thought" has ever resulted in a wreck.
You cut your finger on a string while practicing "air guitar".
Dinner forks make you break out in hives and give you hiccups.
You've ever had a tea cup removed from your esophagus.
A new wing at the hospital may soon bear your name, though you don't recall contributing anything.
You are the poster child for any medical organization.
Paramedics thank you for making their early retirements possible.
You get Christmas cards from Johnson & Johnson.
You refer to common sewing repairs as sutures.
You've been made an honorary lab rat.
You change a tire and can't pull your hand free without removing lug nuts.
You've been named the Ninth Wonder of the World.
You've ever pursed your lips and couldn't un-purse them.
You were told to "zip your lip" and got it caught in the zipper.
The mere act of waking up causes nosebleeds.
You discover you have several new wounds upon waking up.
And last, but not least, a definite sign: If you've ever gotten hurt while changing your mind, you may indeed be accident prone.
YOU MAY BE A LOUSY COOK IF...
Your dog starts howling each time you move toward the kitchen.
Your children really believe there is such a thing as the Charcoal Lover's Pizza.
You are always the "guest of honor" at all the church potluck dinners and as such have "no need to cook".
You think of beans and franks as exotic cuisine.
You make two kinds of Jello--smooth or crunchy.
Your biscuits are heavy as lead, but they won't go down.
A food fight with your cooking causes life-threatening injuries.
If you start hearing things like, "No thanks, I ate just yesterday."
If a new meal is greeted with, "Leftovers again?"
Your guests ask you to identify which are the peas and which are the carrots.
Your children start following dinner with ipecac and epinephrine chasers.
Several neighborhood dogs have died of mysterious circumstances.
Dry heaves are just a part of your life.
You've ever bought Pepto Bismol in the handy 5 gallon size.
Your family doctor has a stomach pump with your family crest on it.
Your dinner table has ever been quarantined and you were banished from the kitchen for extended periods.
Your family invented anorexia and bulimia.
More than seven of your favorite recipes use Ramen as the main ingredient.
The Surgeon General and several FDA officials are on a first name basis with you.
The World Health Organization and the Center for Disease Control have adopted your family.
If Saddam Hussein ever asked you for your recipes.
Alka-Seltzer is considered a dessert in your home.
The makers of Raid, Black Flag and Roach-Prufe have all offered to buy you out.
Tour bus occupants drive by, slow down, point and shake heads, but never stop.
That "spontaneous picket fence" around your house is made entirely of handmade crosses, donated by anonymous caring individuals.
Your meat balls, when fired at high velocities, have been demonstrated to kill vampires.
A new and unusual syndrome has been dubbed in your honor.
If Anyone eating your home-made bread has ever broken a tooth or fractured a jaw.
Portland Cement Company has identified three new molecular structures in your biscuits.
Your dinner rolls may have newfound applications in rail gun and particle accelerator technologies.
The Department of Defense has classified your cooking as Top Secret in the interest of national security.
Your kitchen has ever been lovingly referred to as Ground Zero.
If your waste-basket or garbage disposal ever threw up.
The mere thought of "eating in" causes spontaneous diahrrea and vomiting in your family members.
If you find that cooking is the quickest and most effective threat you can make.
Your pancakes are often mistaken for the plate.
Your husband asks for more pancakes just before he goes skeet shooting.
Your children are caught skipping your pancakes across the lake and several ducks are hurt.
You discover your kids stacking your homemade cupcakes and running for cover when they begin to tilt.
The baby begins crying when you ask if anyone is hungry.
The fumes from your cooked cabbage can peel paint...at a distance of three blocks.
The FDA has asked you to attach a warning label to all your concoctions.
You've inspired Hollywood producers to consider a new approach to the Lethal Weapon series of films, but Mel Gibson and Danny Glover are afraid to star in it.
Your Peanut Butter/Tuna Noodle Surprise brought the house down--literally.
Your kitchen has been listed as a Superfund Cleanup site.
And a huge indication to consider: If shoe repairmen use your waffles because they last longer than synthetic soles, you may indeed be a lousy cook.
YOU MAY BE A HEAVY DRINKER IF...
You've ever awakened in the morning with "carpet face".
You don't recall your shoes being that color a moment ago.
Everywhere you go is uphill.
Close friends wear raincoats on sunny days.
You spend more than one minute digging for your car keys before you realize boxer shorts have no pocket.
You don't recall the door being there when you came in.
It has taken you more than 1 minute to find the door.
You've ever put your shoes on backward and it felt right.
Even the dog hides your car keys.
You're glad you drove because you were in no shape to have walked.
Your head is in the toilet more than your backside.
You ever tried to bum a dollar from a cop or a parking meter.
Just hearing the word "medicinal" makes you thirsty.
You ever answered a hiccup with, "I'll drink to that".
You've ever gone after more beer on your riding lawn mower.
You've ever tried to climb over a sidewalk.
If your idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand.
If you dress like the Michelin Man for safety reasons.
You conclude that you must have had a good time, because you can't remember a thing.
If you ever had more than one beer cap removed from a single body part.
If gravitational anomalies seem to focus around you in particular.
If someone burps and you holler, "Another round!"
If you've ever screamed, "Stop! Let me off!" while in a prone position.
You consider a day without alcohol to be "fasting".
You think of alcoholic drinks as 'staples'.
If you stargaze a lot during daylight hours.
You've ever tried to answer the phone and don't have one.
If you can name more local bars than Presidents.
If you don't like water because fish swim in it.
You've ever tried to put a drink coaster in your CD player.
You and your drinking buddies think you may have decoded the TV test pattern.
If you have ever had a "good conversation' with your dog.
If you have ever wondered why you can't get the fishing channel on the microwave.
If you ever hit the bottom stair and just kept going.
If the only thing on your Christmas list is beer.
You think Smith and Wesson is a new distillery.
If using the doggie door is easier than finding your keys.
If, when pulled over by a cop, you've ever said, "Oooh, look at the pretty lights...."
You've ever ordered another drink while wondering if you have a drinking problem.
And the biggest indicator of all--if you've ever set your hand on fire while blowing out a match, you may indeed be a heavy drinker.
Evil Revisited
Regarding how to portray evil--I really think it is a balancing act to pull a reader into a story and to sufficiently stimulate the readers' imagination to 'see' the evil in a character without it becoming truly offensive.
One recent post I read elsewhere and on a different subject had to do with what the writer called the "tipping point". This is a point at which very little effort is needed to send the balance one way or another. As an author, I try to find that point (and now I have a name for it, thanks to this man) in my storyline and portrayal of events and persons. By not stepping over the edge as an author, the reader is free to choose how far and in which direction he or she wishes to carry the intended portrayal, if you understand my meaning. Just as certain types of music will paint a picture in your mind, the readers need the freedom to view their own pictures on the video screen of their minds, not have the pictures thrust upon them.
Imagination is a powerful thing and we have to remember that the reader is not just an audience, but a vital link in the effective telling of a story. As an author, I experienced that aspect firsthand in writing my Shining Armor series. I took 'dictation', if you will, and 'saw' the pictures in my own mind, experiencing them as would any of my readers. They may see slightly different surroundings than I envisioned, but that is what makes it a personal experience to them. Nevertheless, I was able to identify with the reader because I, too, was never sure what was going to happen next, until it did. The goal, to me, is to never rob the reader of participation in the story. They are not just observers, if we treat them right--they are THERE.
The actual title to this should be something more like How to Write a Villain Into Your Story Without Becoming One in the Process. Writing is often a balancing act. You must tell enough to keep the reader interested without giving away the plot line too soon. Your characters must be touchable, human and believable. At times they must seem almost superhuman or super evil, while remaining believable. That is where the tight rope walking comes into play.
What makes a good villain? (Now there is an oxymoron, if ever there was one!) What makes a villain memorable to a reader? What would make a person want to continue reading? Often the only incentive to read on may be that the reader has a sense of justice that makes him or her want a valid punishment for the trouble-maker in the story. Not that your other characters can be lackluster, but the villain, if portrayed effectively, can be a huge part of what carries the story. Tension and opposition are a part of life and add to the thrill of a good read.
While I was writing Shining Armor, the character of Ted Randall seemed to take a route all his own. He came to life in such a way that he began to "tell" me who and what he was and I wrote it down as I "watched" the play unfold. Ted was not just a jealous boyfriend. He was not just an abusive, spoiled child in a mans' body. He was the very embodiment of evil--unpredictable to the extreme, mentally unstable and capable of doing great harm while taking deep pleasure in the act. His persistence was absolutely frightening in scope, but almost admirable, in a strange sort of way. He just would not give up. Where other men would take a hint and weigh the pros and cons, Ted did not. It was all about him, all about winning, all about revenge if it came to that. He did not quit until his goal was reached--ever--and by whatever means was deemed necessary. It was this singleness of sight and his belief that he was always right that made him so formidable a threat to the safety of Ron and Denise in the story. The reader wants Ted to get his due come-uppance, without any doubt. At the same time, the reader cannot wait to see what he will do next. Ted is a fascinating character, due in great part to the fact that he is so evil. If Ted were to expire from the story too soon, the story would be anti-climactic. If he were to win totally and unquestionably, the story would be a disappointment also. Again, the balancing act. An equitable answer must be found to the dilemma.
Ted was the kind to push his weight around and bully others, something Denise Payton does not discover until she is already in a relationship with him. He is the type to be dangerously jealous, which she also determines later. He does not tolerate losing, even to a family member, as they are soon to find out. This in no way implies he is stupid, for he is very clever and insightful in his own warped way. He uses people to his own ends and says what he pleases, when he pleases. This was a point of discovery for me as a writer--how to give the impression of foul language without actually using the language that would make the book objectionable to the reader (and to the author). What I did was what many others have had to resort to--description instead of dialogue. This was followed by a stream of blue invective that shook the diner from one end to the other--or some such treatment. The reader may wonder why the invective is blue, or even what invective is, but the words seem to suggest that whatever he did was not nice and upset everyone within earshot. The implication is there and that is usually far more effective than the language itself.
Ted is not your average bully, either. He has no self-esteem problems in the normal sense of the word. If anything, he has too much self-esteem and none for his peers. He does not cower when pressure is put on him by others, though he may bide his time and wait for the appropriate opportunity to act. He sees this as a challenge to his own authority. One cannot help but wonder what miracles this man could accomplish if only he would harness this intense power for good.
Another aspect of portraying a villain is how to appropriately illustrate the violence he may do, without the description becoming too gory or objectionable to the reader. I truly believe that a major part of any authors' story has to be allowing the reader liberty to use his imagination to the maximum possible extent. An active imagination is what allows the writer to do the story in the first place. Why would not an active imagination be essential to the reader as well? It is the vital connection that the author and the audience have in common. You have no movie screen to place your cinematography on, except the readers' mind alone. You have no soundtrack that can allow the reader to hear the crush of leaves as the villain chases the woman into the dark woods. The reader supplies this and more. The reader is (and must be) an active participant in the unfolding of the tale. If you don't believe this fully and firmly, you will never get the reaction you want from your audience. The reader will always wonder where it is you are trying to go with this work. I think that is why I always had a problem with the writings of Charles Dickens. He wrote for the stage director and the manager in charge of props and costumes, but he never wrote for me. By way of comparison, Edgar Rice Burroughs fast became my favorite author at an early point in my development as a consumer of novels. He utilized all the most effective techniques, such as cliffhangers, parallel stories, etc. The difference between him and Dickens was that he was not so hung up on the peripheral and useless details that he forgot to tell the story and let me supply my own imagination. (In all fairness to Dickens, he wrote at a time when authors were paid by the word, hence the incentive to be wordy).
I think that is about all for now. Experiment in your own way with these suggestions. You may be an author and use them firsthand, or you may be a reader and have just been made aware that this is the process that was taking place in your own reading. Either way, have fun--and good imagination to you!
One recent post I read elsewhere and on a different subject had to do with what the writer called the "tipping point". This is a point at which very little effort is needed to send the balance one way or another. As an author, I try to find that point (and now I have a name for it, thanks to this man) in my storyline and portrayal of events and persons. By not stepping over the edge as an author, the reader is free to choose how far and in which direction he or she wishes to carry the intended portrayal, if you understand my meaning. Just as certain types of music will paint a picture in your mind, the readers need the freedom to view their own pictures on the video screen of their minds, not have the pictures thrust upon them.
Imagination is a powerful thing and we have to remember that the reader is not just an audience, but a vital link in the effective telling of a story. As an author, I experienced that aspect firsthand in writing my Shining Armor series. I took 'dictation', if you will, and 'saw' the pictures in my own mind, experiencing them as would any of my readers. They may see slightly different surroundings than I envisioned, but that is what makes it a personal experience to them. Nevertheless, I was able to identify with the reader because I, too, was never sure what was going to happen next, until it did. The goal, to me, is to never rob the reader of participation in the story. They are not just observers, if we treat them right--they are THERE.
The actual title to this should be something more like How to Write a Villain Into Your Story Without Becoming One in the Process. Writing is often a balancing act. You must tell enough to keep the reader interested without giving away the plot line too soon. Your characters must be touchable, human and believable. At times they must seem almost superhuman or super evil, while remaining believable. That is where the tight rope walking comes into play.
What makes a good villain? (Now there is an oxymoron, if ever there was one!) What makes a villain memorable to a reader? What would make a person want to continue reading? Often the only incentive to read on may be that the reader has a sense of justice that makes him or her want a valid punishment for the trouble-maker in the story. Not that your other characters can be lackluster, but the villain, if portrayed effectively, can be a huge part of what carries the story. Tension and opposition are a part of life and add to the thrill of a good read.
While I was writing Shining Armor, the character of Ted Randall seemed to take a route all his own. He came to life in such a way that he began to "tell" me who and what he was and I wrote it down as I "watched" the play unfold. Ted was not just a jealous boyfriend. He was not just an abusive, spoiled child in a mans' body. He was the very embodiment of evil--unpredictable to the extreme, mentally unstable and capable of doing great harm while taking deep pleasure in the act. His persistence was absolutely frightening in scope, but almost admirable, in a strange sort of way. He just would not give up. Where other men would take a hint and weigh the pros and cons, Ted did not. It was all about him, all about winning, all about revenge if it came to that. He did not quit until his goal was reached--ever--and by whatever means was deemed necessary. It was this singleness of sight and his belief that he was always right that made him so formidable a threat to the safety of Ron and Denise in the story. The reader wants Ted to get his due come-uppance, without any doubt. At the same time, the reader cannot wait to see what he will do next. Ted is a fascinating character, due in great part to the fact that he is so evil. If Ted were to expire from the story too soon, the story would be anti-climactic. If he were to win totally and unquestionably, the story would be a disappointment also. Again, the balancing act. An equitable answer must be found to the dilemma.
Ted was the kind to push his weight around and bully others, something Denise Payton does not discover until she is already in a relationship with him. He is the type to be dangerously jealous, which she also determines later. He does not tolerate losing, even to a family member, as they are soon to find out. This in no way implies he is stupid, for he is very clever and insightful in his own warped way. He uses people to his own ends and says what he pleases, when he pleases. This was a point of discovery for me as a writer--how to give the impression of foul language without actually using the language that would make the book objectionable to the reader (and to the author). What I did was what many others have had to resort to--description instead of dialogue. This was followed by a stream of blue invective that shook the diner from one end to the other--or some such treatment. The reader may wonder why the invective is blue, or even what invective is, but the words seem to suggest that whatever he did was not nice and upset everyone within earshot. The implication is there and that is usually far more effective than the language itself.
Ted is not your average bully, either. He has no self-esteem problems in the normal sense of the word. If anything, he has too much self-esteem and none for his peers. He does not cower when pressure is put on him by others, though he may bide his time and wait for the appropriate opportunity to act. He sees this as a challenge to his own authority. One cannot help but wonder what miracles this man could accomplish if only he would harness this intense power for good.
Another aspect of portraying a villain is how to appropriately illustrate the violence he may do, without the description becoming too gory or objectionable to the reader. I truly believe that a major part of any authors' story has to be allowing the reader liberty to use his imagination to the maximum possible extent. An active imagination is what allows the writer to do the story in the first place. Why would not an active imagination be essential to the reader as well? It is the vital connection that the author and the audience have in common. You have no movie screen to place your cinematography on, except the readers' mind alone. You have no soundtrack that can allow the reader to hear the crush of leaves as the villain chases the woman into the dark woods. The reader supplies this and more. The reader is (and must be) an active participant in the unfolding of the tale. If you don't believe this fully and firmly, you will never get the reaction you want from your audience. The reader will always wonder where it is you are trying to go with this work. I think that is why I always had a problem with the writings of Charles Dickens. He wrote for the stage director and the manager in charge of props and costumes, but he never wrote for me. By way of comparison, Edgar Rice Burroughs fast became my favorite author at an early point in my development as a consumer of novels. He utilized all the most effective techniques, such as cliffhangers, parallel stories, etc. The difference between him and Dickens was that he was not so hung up on the peripheral and useless details that he forgot to tell the story and let me supply my own imagination. (In all fairness to Dickens, he wrote at a time when authors were paid by the word, hence the incentive to be wordy).
I think that is about all for now. Experiment in your own way with these suggestions. You may be an author and use them firsthand, or you may be a reader and have just been made aware that this is the process that was taking place in your own reading. Either way, have fun--and good imagination to you!
Standing Out From The Crowd
Every year there are thousands of songs written (and recorded), thousands of books written (and published) and thousands upon thousands of other things that are the same as everyone else is doing, ad infinitum. It is easy to get lost in the shuffle. But it is not impossible to get to the top and be seen.
What makes you stand out from the rest of humanity? First of all, I would ask what makes YOU different from those around you? Do your friends always say things like, "I love your sense of humor" or that you are the "level-headed" one? Who are you to your peers? Find that unique thing or two about you that makes you different. Now ask yourself how to package it and capitalize on it. A comedian can't just be funny. He or she has to find a way to stand out from the crowd of peers. A niche is needed. Jeff Foxworthy has found a niche--Redneck humor. Bill Engvall has found a niche also--Texas humor. Will Rogers was unique in his time. A lot of folks spoke about politics, but he did it differently. Groucho Marx also had a niche--he was borderline insane, but in a lovable way. Don Rickles--insulting humor, from the nicest man you would ever want to know (a natural choice in order to be different, because it was NOT him). Phyllis Diller--cheap chic--she "out-Rosanne'd" Rosanne before there ever WAS a Rosanne Barr. Moms Mabley--one of the funniest and homeliest women you ever saw and you could not help but love her. Godfrey Cambridge...made a living out of saying, "Oh, YEAH!" in his own unique way. Red Skelton--couldn't help but laugh at his own jokes, especially when they went wrong. I could go on. All unique and original. No copies here.
A niche may be nothing more than your own personal little twist that you can add to it--something that makes it uniquely yours. My oldest son was wanting to learn to play guitar and has since shown a lot of talent in songwriting. While he was trying to decide what to play in front of an audience, whether to do 'cover' tunes or not, I gave him this advice: First, Don't play any song if YOU don't like it. The audience will know if you are having fun and if you are it will be infectious--they will have fun, too. Secondly, if you choose to do a cover tune, you must approach it one of two ways--either do it EXACTLY like the original, vocals and all, or put a twist in it that makes it uniquely yours and yours alone. Because of that, he has taken a hybrid approach and thrown some bits and pieces of several ethnic styles into his own truly unique works--enough to make an audience say, "Aha!" as they discover a new twist they never knew existed in todays' music.
He is also very outgoing and gregarious, so it was a natural thing for him to become a salesman--but he does it with a twist. Instead of trying to get the biggest commissions he can by sending a customer out with the most expensive thing he can, he tries to send them out with as much as he can for their money without compromising their overall quality and buying experience. For example: "Why spend that much on a top-of-the-line stereo and still not have enough to get good speakers that will do it justice, when for the same amount you could step down one--get this excellent stereo, STILL have enough to get good speakers AND have better cables to carry the signal and make it sound as it was meant to?" Then he takes them into the listening room and proves it will sound just as good. The funny thing is this: to the customer it sounds BETTER because their deal just got sweeter. Instead of one small box in their arms when they leave, they have a full cart and a total experience they never thought they could afford when they went in. And my son has never failed to be one of the top two salesmaen within a month of being hired--at several companies! He applies his own twist and it pays off in greater numbers in the long run. People he doesn't even know come in and ask for him by name. Why? Because he treated the FIRST customer so well that they told their friends. That is advertising at its best--advertising you cannot buy. I went in with him on his day off a few times, so he could show me the latest thing he was excited about--(oh..another way he stands out--he does his homework on a product so he can educate a customer or at least build confidence that he isn't giving them a snow-job)--in the first half hour, each time, there were customers AND salesmen asking for his assistance. And he was out of uniform! Now, that speaks highly of his level of service and knowledge. Armed with this technique he was actually training salesmen within his second month at one store.
Am I proud? Sure, but the moral to the story is that when you do it right it pays off for a long time to come. Do it in your own way, but do it right. All this may sound like common sense and simply the way it was meant to be--and it is. However, it is not very common for anyone to want to do their homework so they know what they are talking about (research for your book), so they can convince a reader that they know their stuff. It is uncommon to care about customer (reader) service by making the experience as good as it can be (rewrite and polish). It is uncommon to do the little value-added things that matter (neat PDF format, good cover design--even for a downloadable copy, contact information, author bio, jacket notes, etc.) These days it seems that doing things right is like breaking the rules. You get accused of making others look bad when you do. You stand out from the crowd!
Sometimes you have to bend or even break the "rules" to get noticed. I once broke the rules in order to get a job interview. (Well, actually several times...but....) The popular wisdom says never show up at lunch time and expect to get an interview. Well, that was the only time I could show up, so I made the best of it--and made myself stand out from the crowd. I told the girl at the front desk to tell ___ that if she would drive, I would buy lunch. I had done my homework and knew the name of the HR representative ahead of time. I had never met her and didn't know if this would work or not, but I had nothing to lose. The girl at the front desk looked puzzled for a moment and then went to the back and did as I suggested, assuming I knew the woman in question. Did I get an interview? Yes, for 45 minutes--during her lunch! She had a sack lunch, but she was curious as to who would be inviting her out to buy a lunch for her. The truth is that I was nearly broke, but I could have bought her lunch if I did without my own, which I was willing to do. Now, I did not get a job from it, as there were none then available, but I got in where the conventional wisdom said I could not. I did the "impossible".
Another time when I wanted to get through on the phone directly to someone who was "impossible" to reach without an appointment, my wife said, "give me the phone". She then proceeded to pull off the most simple and brilliant stunt I had ever seen. She rang the number and when the personal secretary/screener answered, my wife said, "Personal call for ____" and then waited quietly. Again, the several second pause. Again, the assumption that the caller knew the intended recipient. But this time, the secretary also assumed my wife was either an operator or another personal secretary. She would have felt foolish asking what the call was in reference to, after being told it was a personal call. She would have felt silly asking if my wife were a secretary or an operator. So, she just hesitated long enough to know there was no graceful way for her to do her assigned job and then she patched the call through like a good secretary should. Brilliant! We found a way to stand out. Call it guerilla marketing.
JK. Rowling has found her niche in writing about magic and a world that exists alongside ours, where nothing is without its surprises. The Harry Potter books are wildly popular and are spawning a series of movies (and making 'tonnes' of money for Rowling, who doesn't really have a middle initial, but don't tell her I told you). Lemony Snicket (no, I did not make that up, though it is not his real name) has found a niche in writing a series of books called A Series of Unfortunate Events, now a movie. Stan Lee was a noted comic book author and has gone on to become popular fodder lately for the movie market as well. Spiderman, the X-Men, Captain America and others attest to that. Personally, I feel my first novel would make an extremely exciting movie and I intend to work in that direction.
You must do something with your writing that makes you unique in the world of writers. You may be covering the same old subject as others have, but find a way to do it differently, through the back door or a window, so to speak. What do you know or what do you do differently that will make your writing stand out? Do you have an area of expertise that will do the trick? There are many books by Michael Crichton that are unique to his background in the chosen subject matter. W.E.B. Griffin, Tom Clancy and others have found their niches in military and espionage books. Douglas Adams has found his in the sci-fi humor field--now there is a twist! The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy is now a movie. Who would have thought?
A recent acquaintance, Melanie Hurd Goldmund, is writing a book she calls an LDS space opera. Being a Mormon, I knew what LDS was, but the space opera bit threw me and I begged an explanation. What she described was a very ambitious sci-fi project with a real twist to it--something that would definitely make her stand out from the crowd. I am not at liberty to divulge that Top Secret information at this time--she would have to kill me if I did--but suffice it to say that I am impressed and can't wait to see the manuscript when she is ready for a proof-reader. "Oh,...Pick me! Pick me!" (Waves arms furiously).
So, what is your niche? What is the twist you could add? In the sixties a lot of bands would pick a name by some very unorthodox methods. They might throw slips of paper into a hat and choose two or three and see if they went together--which actually meant to them that they should do anything BUT go together--which made it more cool and it was definitely different. That is how we ended up with band names like Bubble Puppy, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Ultimate Spinach, Moby Grape, Glass Harp and scores of other names of that ilk. Others would make a chart or a wheel-like device that would rotate in separate rings and match (or mis-match) words. Very creative, really. What will you do to find the twist you need? Maybe you like crafts and also want to write a book about white-water rafting. (Could a woman knit her own raft? Hey, it's your story--I'm just asking!) Branch out and don't be afraid to look at the world differently. Through a childs' eyes, through a bugs' eyes, through...wait, this is YOUR assignment. Get busy, be creative and have fun!
What makes you stand out from the rest of humanity? First of all, I would ask what makes YOU different from those around you? Do your friends always say things like, "I love your sense of humor" or that you are the "level-headed" one? Who are you to your peers? Find that unique thing or two about you that makes you different. Now ask yourself how to package it and capitalize on it. A comedian can't just be funny. He or she has to find a way to stand out from the crowd of peers. A niche is needed. Jeff Foxworthy has found a niche--Redneck humor. Bill Engvall has found a niche also--Texas humor. Will Rogers was unique in his time. A lot of folks spoke about politics, but he did it differently. Groucho Marx also had a niche--he was borderline insane, but in a lovable way. Don Rickles--insulting humor, from the nicest man you would ever want to know (a natural choice in order to be different, because it was NOT him). Phyllis Diller--cheap chic--she "out-Rosanne'd" Rosanne before there ever WAS a Rosanne Barr. Moms Mabley--one of the funniest and homeliest women you ever saw and you could not help but love her. Godfrey Cambridge...made a living out of saying, "Oh, YEAH!" in his own unique way. Red Skelton--couldn't help but laugh at his own jokes, especially when they went wrong. I could go on. All unique and original. No copies here.
A niche may be nothing more than your own personal little twist that you can add to it--something that makes it uniquely yours. My oldest son was wanting to learn to play guitar and has since shown a lot of talent in songwriting. While he was trying to decide what to play in front of an audience, whether to do 'cover' tunes or not, I gave him this advice: First, Don't play any song if YOU don't like it. The audience will know if you are having fun and if you are it will be infectious--they will have fun, too. Secondly, if you choose to do a cover tune, you must approach it one of two ways--either do it EXACTLY like the original, vocals and all, or put a twist in it that makes it uniquely yours and yours alone. Because of that, he has taken a hybrid approach and thrown some bits and pieces of several ethnic styles into his own truly unique works--enough to make an audience say, "Aha!" as they discover a new twist they never knew existed in todays' music.
He is also very outgoing and gregarious, so it was a natural thing for him to become a salesman--but he does it with a twist. Instead of trying to get the biggest commissions he can by sending a customer out with the most expensive thing he can, he tries to send them out with as much as he can for their money without compromising their overall quality and buying experience. For example: "Why spend that much on a top-of-the-line stereo and still not have enough to get good speakers that will do it justice, when for the same amount you could step down one--get this excellent stereo, STILL have enough to get good speakers AND have better cables to carry the signal and make it sound as it was meant to?" Then he takes them into the listening room and proves it will sound just as good. The funny thing is this: to the customer it sounds BETTER because their deal just got sweeter. Instead of one small box in their arms when they leave, they have a full cart and a total experience they never thought they could afford when they went in. And my son has never failed to be one of the top two salesmaen within a month of being hired--at several companies! He applies his own twist and it pays off in greater numbers in the long run. People he doesn't even know come in and ask for him by name. Why? Because he treated the FIRST customer so well that they told their friends. That is advertising at its best--advertising you cannot buy. I went in with him on his day off a few times, so he could show me the latest thing he was excited about--(oh..another way he stands out--he does his homework on a product so he can educate a customer or at least build confidence that he isn't giving them a snow-job)--in the first half hour, each time, there were customers AND salesmen asking for his assistance. And he was out of uniform! Now, that speaks highly of his level of service and knowledge. Armed with this technique he was actually training salesmen within his second month at one store.
Am I proud? Sure, but the moral to the story is that when you do it right it pays off for a long time to come. Do it in your own way, but do it right. All this may sound like common sense and simply the way it was meant to be--and it is. However, it is not very common for anyone to want to do their homework so they know what they are talking about (research for your book), so they can convince a reader that they know their stuff. It is uncommon to care about customer (reader) service by making the experience as good as it can be (rewrite and polish). It is uncommon to do the little value-added things that matter (neat PDF format, good cover design--even for a downloadable copy, contact information, author bio, jacket notes, etc.) These days it seems that doing things right is like breaking the rules. You get accused of making others look bad when you do. You stand out from the crowd!
Sometimes you have to bend or even break the "rules" to get noticed. I once broke the rules in order to get a job interview. (Well, actually several times...but....) The popular wisdom says never show up at lunch time and expect to get an interview. Well, that was the only time I could show up, so I made the best of it--and made myself stand out from the crowd. I told the girl at the front desk to tell ___ that if she would drive, I would buy lunch. I had done my homework and knew the name of the HR representative ahead of time. I had never met her and didn't know if this would work or not, but I had nothing to lose. The girl at the front desk looked puzzled for a moment and then went to the back and did as I suggested, assuming I knew the woman in question. Did I get an interview? Yes, for 45 minutes--during her lunch! She had a sack lunch, but she was curious as to who would be inviting her out to buy a lunch for her. The truth is that I was nearly broke, but I could have bought her lunch if I did without my own, which I was willing to do. Now, I did not get a job from it, as there were none then available, but I got in where the conventional wisdom said I could not. I did the "impossible".
Another time when I wanted to get through on the phone directly to someone who was "impossible" to reach without an appointment, my wife said, "give me the phone". She then proceeded to pull off the most simple and brilliant stunt I had ever seen. She rang the number and when the personal secretary/screener answered, my wife said, "Personal call for ____" and then waited quietly. Again, the several second pause. Again, the assumption that the caller knew the intended recipient. But this time, the secretary also assumed my wife was either an operator or another personal secretary. She would have felt foolish asking what the call was in reference to, after being told it was a personal call. She would have felt silly asking if my wife were a secretary or an operator. So, she just hesitated long enough to know there was no graceful way for her to do her assigned job and then she patched the call through like a good secretary should. Brilliant! We found a way to stand out. Call it guerilla marketing.
JK. Rowling has found her niche in writing about magic and a world that exists alongside ours, where nothing is without its surprises. The Harry Potter books are wildly popular and are spawning a series of movies (and making 'tonnes' of money for Rowling, who doesn't really have a middle initial, but don't tell her I told you). Lemony Snicket (no, I did not make that up, though it is not his real name) has found a niche in writing a series of books called A Series of Unfortunate Events, now a movie. Stan Lee was a noted comic book author and has gone on to become popular fodder lately for the movie market as well. Spiderman, the X-Men, Captain America and others attest to that. Personally, I feel my first novel would make an extremely exciting movie and I intend to work in that direction.
You must do something with your writing that makes you unique in the world of writers. You may be covering the same old subject as others have, but find a way to do it differently, through the back door or a window, so to speak. What do you know or what do you do differently that will make your writing stand out? Do you have an area of expertise that will do the trick? There are many books by Michael Crichton that are unique to his background in the chosen subject matter. W.E.B. Griffin, Tom Clancy and others have found their niches in military and espionage books. Douglas Adams has found his in the sci-fi humor field--now there is a twist! The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy is now a movie. Who would have thought?
A recent acquaintance, Melanie Hurd Goldmund, is writing a book she calls an LDS space opera. Being a Mormon, I knew what LDS was, but the space opera bit threw me and I begged an explanation. What she described was a very ambitious sci-fi project with a real twist to it--something that would definitely make her stand out from the crowd. I am not at liberty to divulge that Top Secret information at this time--she would have to kill me if I did--but suffice it to say that I am impressed and can't wait to see the manuscript when she is ready for a proof-reader. "Oh,...Pick me! Pick me!" (Waves arms furiously).
So, what is your niche? What is the twist you could add? In the sixties a lot of bands would pick a name by some very unorthodox methods. They might throw slips of paper into a hat and choose two or three and see if they went together--which actually meant to them that they should do anything BUT go together--which made it more cool and it was definitely different. That is how we ended up with band names like Bubble Puppy, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Ultimate Spinach, Moby Grape, Glass Harp and scores of other names of that ilk. Others would make a chart or a wheel-like device that would rotate in separate rings and match (or mis-match) words. Very creative, really. What will you do to find the twist you need? Maybe you like crafts and also want to write a book about white-water rafting. (Could a woman knit her own raft? Hey, it's your story--I'm just asking!) Branch out and don't be afraid to look at the world differently. Through a childs' eyes, through a bugs' eyes, through...wait, this is YOUR assignment. Get busy, be creative and have fun!
Should You Self-Publish?
lulu.com This is a great site I ran across. You can actually make money this way--even in small numbers of sales. Worth a long look and free to join. Know this, though--once you upload it, it is not changeable, so be sure it is accurate from the start and you have the cover art, title page, etc. that you REALLY want.
See also How to Get Published Free and Make Money and Power Posters' blog
Only you can decide whether you should publish it yourself. I know thtere are many non-fiction books that have first been published by the authors, then picked up later by a publishing house (after the proof of popularity was evident to all but an idiot...am I sounding cynical? Sorry.) The books went on to be wildly successful. This might be the way you want to do it.
With a fiction book, the potential for succeeding this way might be less, but nonetheless isn't impossible. You can also find sites on the 'net from which to purchase ISBN numbers (buy ten at a time, as this saves money and allows for paper and hardback versions, major revisions, compilations, etc.) You can also get publisher warehouses to catalog your work, if you have this number. Wouldn't it be nice to look more legit' and be listed in Barnes and Nobles, etc? I will try to get more info on this in the future, but feel free to research it and leave comments with me on this aspect.
See also How to Get Published Free and Make Money and Power Posters' blog
Only you can decide whether you should publish it yourself. I know thtere are many non-fiction books that have first been published by the authors, then picked up later by a publishing house (after the proof of popularity was evident to all but an idiot...am I sounding cynical? Sorry.) The books went on to be wildly successful. This might be the way you want to do it.
With a fiction book, the potential for succeeding this way might be less, but nonetheless isn't impossible. You can also find sites on the 'net from which to purchase ISBN numbers (buy ten at a time, as this saves money and allows for paper and hardback versions, major revisions, compilations, etc.) You can also get publisher warehouses to catalog your work, if you have this number. Wouldn't it be nice to look more legit' and be listed in Barnes and Nobles, etc? I will try to get more info on this in the future, but feel free to research it and leave comments with me on this aspect.
Good PR (Press Release, not Public Relations)
If you want to promote yourself, you might have to do a press release. Basically this is a sales letter (you have to sell yourself and your product--your story, your article, your song or what have you). You are sending it to someone who can give you the publicity you want and in return you must give them something they want--an interesting article or story for their own readers. This is the classic "you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-scratch-yours" scenario. It is a trade, in essence. You make the newspaper, the magazine, the weblog, the radio or TV station look good to their readers, listeners, or viewers. They, in turn, make you look good to the same audience. Here are a few links you may want to see on the subject. I ALWAYS suggest doing further searches yourself--and if you find something really great, share it by posting a comment here, okay?
PR Hints
http://www.prfree.com/index.php?cur=index&action=member&mode=hints
PR Blunders
http://www.prfree.com/index.php?cur=index&action=member&mode=blunders
What is a Press Release?
http://www.marketingtrendz.com/mworkshop/lp/pressrelease.htm
PR Hints
http://www.prfree.com/index.php?cur=index&action=member&mode=hints
PR Blunders
http://www.prfree.com/index.php?cur=index&action=member&mode=blunders
What is a Press Release?
http://www.marketingtrendz.com/mworkshop/lp/pressrelease.htm
RE: Manuscript Building a different way
I ran across some good information in this link. If you aspire to write, take a look here: Building your manuscript layer by layer. If you are a procrastinator, look here: The world is waiting....
http://www.latterdayauthors.com/fiction/wbg+rewrites.htm
http://www.latterdayauthors.com/fiction/wbg+rewrites.htm
Advice from experts RE: Writing Contests
http://www.ult-media.com/writingcontests.htm
The judges and professionals advice section down the page is excellent and you should copy and paste it for study every now and then. Do the same with the previous recommended site, also.
Check this one, also. I heartily recommend you check out this site, with some excellent ideas for storyline and character improvement.
http://www.writing-world.com/contests/articles/judge.shtml
The judges and professionals advice section down the page is excellent and you should copy and paste it for study every now and then. Do the same with the previous recommended site, also.
Check this one, also. I heartily recommend you check out this site, with some excellent ideas for storyline and character improvement.
http://www.writing-world.com/contests/articles/judge.shtml
A Closer Look at Self-Publishing
http://www.ult-media.com/selfpublishing.htm
I am very impressed that this may be worth the nominal price and I intend to check into it myself to continue my own personal education and eventual business.
lulu.com This is a great site I ran across. You can actually make money this way, it appears--even in small numbers of sales. Worth a long look and free to join.
See also Power Posters' blog
I am very impressed that this may be worth the nominal price and I intend to check into it myself to continue my own personal education and eventual business.
lulu.com This is a great site I ran across. You can actually make money this way, it appears--even in small numbers of sales. Worth a long look and free to join.
See also Power Posters' blog
Getting Free Publicity
www.get-free-publicity.com
I highly recommend you look into this offering. Yes, it will cost a bit, but it is like hiring your own expert to help you promote yourself or your product. The time and effort saved will be tremendous. Listen to the recorded testimonials and decide for yourself if doing it as the experts would is worth your while.
I highly recommend you look into this offering. Yes, it will cost a bit, but it is like hiring your own expert to help you promote yourself or your product. The time and effort saved will be tremendous. Listen to the recorded testimonials and decide for yourself if doing it as the experts would is worth your while.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Worth Repeating
The Write Tools is intended to be a place where writers can find not only the tools they may wish to utilize in their creative processes, but also the inspiration needed to accomplish it. For that reason you will find a variety of things here that might seem odd to you at first glance, but rest assured that their true nature and intent will eventually show itself and they could prove to be of great worth to you.
After you have become familiar with this site, feel free to recommend any and all tools or inspirational devices that you think would be appropriate here. Affiliate programs of an appropriate nature to this site will be given due consideration, as well.
Thank you for your patience, consideration and support. This is your site--help us make it better.
After you have become familiar with this site, feel free to recommend any and all tools or inspirational devices that you think would be appropriate here. Affiliate programs of an appropriate nature to this site will be given due consideration, as well.
Thank you for your patience, consideration and support. This is your site--help us make it better.
FREE Novel and 2 Novellas
ATTENTION!
For a limited time, I am offering to send you, via email, the pre-publication versions of my novel Shining Armor--The Knight Appears, plus the two follow-up novellas for the series, The Evil Returns and The Rival. Why? Because I want something from you in return, to be totally honest.
What I need is your complete and brutally honest critique of the books. I want to perfect them before they go to print. You get to read these works before the rest of the world in general and I get your honest opinions, edit suggestions, spelling and grammar corrections, if any, and whatever you might want to offer as hints for future projects. I also need the right to use your comments in a marketing campaign, whether good, bad or ugly. Anonymity can be assured by use of initials only or first name and last initial.
Write for your free copies while the offer exists--pointedwords@gmail.com
Thanks a bunch!
Steve
For a limited time, I am offering to send you, via email, the pre-publication versions of my novel Shining Armor--The Knight Appears, plus the two follow-up novellas for the series, The Evil Returns and The Rival. Why? Because I want something from you in return, to be totally honest.
What I need is your complete and brutally honest critique of the books. I want to perfect them before they go to print. You get to read these works before the rest of the world in general and I get your honest opinions, edit suggestions, spelling and grammar corrections, if any, and whatever you might want to offer as hints for future projects. I also need the right to use your comments in a marketing campaign, whether good, bad or ugly. Anonymity can be assured by use of initials only or first name and last initial.
Write for your free copies while the offer exists--pointedwords@gmail.com
Thanks a bunch!
Steve
If it seems WRITE, is it?
I think that too often we, as writers, limit our thinking as to what we can and should be writing. Maybe you care to write poetry or short stories more than anything else. It could be that you would never consider writing a sales brochure in a million years. I would like to suggest that it is a valuable exercise to stretch your authoring muscles a bit and get out of your literary easy chair every once in a while.
As an author, I have written sales letters, technical reports, short stories, vignettes, poetry, song lyrics, novels, novellas, resumes, blogs, reviews and more. I submit that the more you get away from that comfort rut, the more you will begin to blossom as a writer. I do not think you will be immediately successful at whatever you try. None of us will be. But we may be shocked to find that we do like it and in fact are rather good at this new effort. It is, after all, just more communication, via the same method you have been using all along. The same tools, applied in another way. Just painting a different picture with a similar brush, if you will. How hard can that be?
Also, if one is to be honest, is it fair to call yourself a "Writer" if you are limited in what you write? Would you call yourself an Author, if you are only a poet? A Lyricist, if you only compose limericks? Believe me, I am not casting stones at these disciplines, by any means, but only wish to suggest that it might not be intellectually honest to paint ourselves with such broad titles if we have earned only a portion of them. For that reason, I encourage my readers to stand up from that tiny, restrictive pedestal you have perched yourself on, take a few unsure and frightening steps toward a new frontier and surprise yourself most pleasantly when you realize that it hasn't killed you, but made you stronger to attempt a new feat of bravery.
The truth is that you are what you choose to be, but you become that only by some small effort on your part. In good-natured manner, then, I challenge you to dare to have that new writing adventure this day, this week or this month. Don't put off what could be the start of a new career at best and a newfound confidence, at least. This mission is yours, if you choose to accept it. And let me know what happens, will you? Best wishes and have fun, Adventurers.
As an author, I have written sales letters, technical reports, short stories, vignettes, poetry, song lyrics, novels, novellas, resumes, blogs, reviews and more. I submit that the more you get away from that comfort rut, the more you will begin to blossom as a writer. I do not think you will be immediately successful at whatever you try. None of us will be. But we may be shocked to find that we do like it and in fact are rather good at this new effort. It is, after all, just more communication, via the same method you have been using all along. The same tools, applied in another way. Just painting a different picture with a similar brush, if you will. How hard can that be?
Also, if one is to be honest, is it fair to call yourself a "Writer" if you are limited in what you write? Would you call yourself an Author, if you are only a poet? A Lyricist, if you only compose limericks? Believe me, I am not casting stones at these disciplines, by any means, but only wish to suggest that it might not be intellectually honest to paint ourselves with such broad titles if we have earned only a portion of them. For that reason, I encourage my readers to stand up from that tiny, restrictive pedestal you have perched yourself on, take a few unsure and frightening steps toward a new frontier and surprise yourself most pleasantly when you realize that it hasn't killed you, but made you stronger to attempt a new feat of bravery.
The truth is that you are what you choose to be, but you become that only by some small effort on your part. In good-natured manner, then, I challenge you to dare to have that new writing adventure this day, this week or this month. Don't put off what could be the start of a new career at best and a newfound confidence, at least. This mission is yours, if you choose to accept it. And let me know what happens, will you? Best wishes and have fun, Adventurers.
Yes, No or Maybe?
I recently queried the Charlotte Gusay Agency in L.A. They want books they can convert to film, which mine would do nicely. I spent a great deal of time making the very best query letter I could, included an excerpt, references to my test marketing, a handful of reader responses and a brief synopsis. I also noted that parts 2 and 3 are in the works to be expanded and fleshed out more fully. I sent this letter off and waited.
A few days later, I realized that with all the attention I had paid to the body of the letter, I had neglected to correct the contact info to reflect the new address and phone number for our recent move. I therefore sent off an amended query (this time on a nicely monogrammed letterhead, with corrected info and again waited. Our letters must have crossed in the mail—hers was a rejection letter. Oh, well, I thought. Many well-known writers were rejected a dozen or more times before making it into published status or film status. I am just one step closer to success, that’s all.
Not expecting another response after this, I was shocked to get a letter asking for me to send a synopsis and a sample of a few chapters. (Seems that monogram worked wonders.) I may have to start a line of clothing with it, to bring good luck to all my friends—hehe. Oh, there is a fee involved, but that was the only warning at the Preditors and Editors site. With this woman’s Rolodex list of director’s and screenwriters, I think it will be a great bargain if it pays off.
Also, if she has a sense of humor and this becomes a lasting working relationship, I may have the rejection letter matted and sent to her as a gift in the future. Ain’t I a stinker?
{NOTE: The second rejection came shortly thereafter, sounding very much like the first, although supposedly written by another woman altogether. Hmmm...an alias, maybe?]
[NOTE: I have been asked for a contract recently with Tate Publishing, but they want my $4,000 to add to the $16,000 they will be putting into the production. A published friend, plus several others, have said that an author should expect the money to flow to him, not FROM him. So. maybe another time, as they do seem to have channels of distribution, etc.]
A few days later, I realized that with all the attention I had paid to the body of the letter, I had neglected to correct the contact info to reflect the new address and phone number for our recent move. I therefore sent off an amended query (this time on a nicely monogrammed letterhead, with corrected info and again waited. Our letters must have crossed in the mail—hers was a rejection letter. Oh, well, I thought. Many well-known writers were rejected a dozen or more times before making it into published status or film status. I am just one step closer to success, that’s all.
Not expecting another response after this, I was shocked to get a letter asking for me to send a synopsis and a sample of a few chapters. (Seems that monogram worked wonders.) I may have to start a line of clothing with it, to bring good luck to all my friends—hehe. Oh, there is a fee involved, but that was the only warning at the Preditors and Editors site. With this woman’s Rolodex list of director’s and screenwriters, I think it will be a great bargain if it pays off.
Also, if she has a sense of humor and this becomes a lasting working relationship, I may have the rejection letter matted and sent to her as a gift in the future. Ain’t I a stinker?
{NOTE: The second rejection came shortly thereafter, sounding very much like the first, although supposedly written by another woman altogether. Hmmm...an alias, maybe?]
[NOTE: I have been asked for a contract recently with Tate Publishing, but they want my $4,000 to add to the $16,000 they will be putting into the production. A published friend, plus several others, have said that an author should expect the money to flow to him, not FROM him. So. maybe another time, as they do seem to have channels of distribution, etc.]
Freelance-Author.com
A site I have recently been privileged to read is Freelance-Author.com. I have found it to be a well done and beautifully put together site. Webmaster Danny Norman must be a master. I shall have to learn from him, if he will teach me.
Danny has done me the kindness of posting several of my works on his remarkable site (http://www.freelance-author.com/featured-authors.html). Thanks, Danny. I am happy to recommend your site here for the pointers and guidance you offer. It appears you have done your homework well and I commend you for it. Adding you to my recommended links table on the right.
Several good links on the site for aspiring authors and for accomplished ones, as well. Take a close look, folks. Several examples of short stories, too.
Danny has done me the kindness of posting several of my works on his remarkable site (http://www.freelance-author.com/featured-authors.html). Thanks, Danny. I am happy to recommend your site here for the pointers and guidance you offer. It appears you have done your homework well and I commend you for it. Adding you to my recommended links table on the right.
Several good links on the site for aspiring authors and for accomplished ones, as well. Take a close look, folks. Several examples of short stories, too.
Book Treasure House
I have found one site that I am rather excited about. It is called booktreasurehouse.com. I truly recommend that if you are serious about promoting your work, you look into this and listen to the interviews at this link-- http://www.booktreasurehouse.com/radio.html
The amazing number of things offered here, for $10 per month, is astounding. Everything from a website to databases of TV and radio interview sites, etc. I am not far into the audio links, but I am already impressed with what is offered. Check it out.
The amazing number of things offered here, for $10 per month, is astounding. Everything from a website to databases of TV and radio interview sites, etc. I am not far into the audio links, but I am already impressed with what is offered. Check it out.
Again--With Feeling!
One of the first things you have to accept if you are to be a writer is that you have to write in order to earn the title. You have to write a lot and about many things. The practice makes it easier for you to express yourself and do it well. View it as if you were a concert pianist. Just thinking about it would never be enough. You would have to gain hands-on experience to become truly proficient at your craft.
I have recently become a huge fan of the music of Sali Oguri, which you may hear at broadjam.com. Let me tell you, I would wag my tail over this stuff, if I had one. Because of that, I have taken to the almost addictive habit of posting comments at her weblog site. There, I find myself discussing music with her. And lyrics, style, conventions and trends. What makes a hit song or a classic? Is image important to the classifying of the music? Even discussion about the type of chords she likes to use or avoid. I find all of this quite fascinating. Sali is a very nice lady, too, so the exchange is fun.
I think it is good advice to write about many things that interest you, whether they be travel, music, art, science or any other thing that takes your fancy. You will be a better-rounded author because of it, I assure you. You may find that the exercise alone sparks the topics that make your next story or book or poem a success.
Your brain and your PC, or pencil and paper are your instruments of craft. Use them often and you will grow. If you have writer’s block, write about your frustrations with it, until you overcome it. Ironic, isn’t it, that when you have writer’s block, you can always write about that? Rather like the advice that when you don’t feel like praying, you should pray until you do. Think of this as a journal entry, if nothing else.
So, once more, with gusto!
I have recently become a huge fan of the music of Sali Oguri, which you may hear at broadjam.com. Let me tell you, I would wag my tail over this stuff, if I had one. Because of that, I have taken to the almost addictive habit of posting comments at her weblog site. There, I find myself discussing music with her. And lyrics, style, conventions and trends. What makes a hit song or a classic? Is image important to the classifying of the music? Even discussion about the type of chords she likes to use or avoid. I find all of this quite fascinating. Sali is a very nice lady, too, so the exchange is fun.
I think it is good advice to write about many things that interest you, whether they be travel, music, art, science or any other thing that takes your fancy. You will be a better-rounded author because of it, I assure you. You may find that the exercise alone sparks the topics that make your next story or book or poem a success.
Your brain and your PC, or pencil and paper are your instruments of craft. Use them often and you will grow. If you have writer’s block, write about your frustrations with it, until you overcome it. Ironic, isn’t it, that when you have writer’s block, you can always write about that? Rather like the advice that when you don’t feel like praying, you should pray until you do. Think of this as a journal entry, if nothing else.
So, once more, with gusto!
Something To Think About
This will teach you some of those terms you may have wondered about (or never knew). You may get a kick out of this one. I found it at another site (benjvm.blogspot.com) and he got it from someone else, but this is exactly where it belongs, so….
----------------------------------------------------------------
How to Write Good:
1) Always avoid alliteration.
2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3) Avoid clichés like the plague.
4) Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
5) Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6) Parenthetical marks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8) Contractions aren’t necessary.
9) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10) One should never generalize.
11) As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12) Don’t be redundant and don’t use more words that necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
13) Profanity sucks.
14) Be more or less specific.
15) Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
16) One word sentences? Eliminate.
17) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18) The passive voice is to be avoided.
19) Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20) Who needs rhetorical questions?
----------------------------------------------------------
And there you have it. Any questions?
Mary Harrison has suggested a few more she recalls from Reader's Digest a few years back.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't verb your nouns.
----------------------------------------------------------------
How to Write Good:
1) Always avoid alliteration.
2) Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3) Avoid clichés like the plague.
4) Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
5) Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6) Parenthetical marks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7) It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8) Contractions aren’t necessary.
9) Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10) One should never generalize.
11) As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12) Don’t be redundant and don’t use more words that necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
13) Profanity sucks.
14) Be more or less specific.
15) Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
16) One word sentences? Eliminate.
17) Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18) The passive voice is to be avoided.
19) Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
20) Who needs rhetorical questions?
----------------------------------------------------------
And there you have it. Any questions?
Mary Harrison has suggested a few more she recalls from Reader's Digest a few years back.
Don't use no double negatives.
Don't verb your nouns.
Parts And Processes Of A Good Story
Getting, getting…got! (You will understand that in a moment).
Algis Budrys is a genius. He is also an author, an editor, a publisher and an outstanding teacher; it is the genius part that I wish to discuss right now, however. In his amazingly valuable, though diminutive book, Writing to The Point—A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction, he lays out some of the most sensible guidelines for writing that I have ever heard. These are things that consciously escape the average person and all but the better writers, but Budrys manages to make them seem so simple and obvious that one is left in either stunned reverence for his insight or is nodding one’s head in respectful agreement, thinking these to be the most wonderful of examples of common sense. I find myself doing both. And that is after finding that I have already been following those principles either instinctively or as a result of some osmotic training gained as a youthful reader.
Budrys, in a mere 63 pages, distills the essence of good fiction writing and places it evenly and sequentially upon the pages for the receptive student to absorb with wonder and awe.
As a writer, I have often found words to be a barrier, rather than a tool. They are at times clunky and painful, lending barely a hint of the meanings that I would wish to convey to others. At times like these, I want nothing more than to be able to ‘plug into’ those I am attempting to communicate with and relay my thoughts and feelings in their purity, untainted by the less than adequate tool we call speech.
At other times, words come with such ease and so fluently that I am in awe of the process and I wonder that such things could be emanating from me! I am thankful to be the channel through which they come, nonetheless.
Algis Budrys lays out two tremendous lessons that even the advanced writer may benefit from. Such an author may not be truly aware of the process that takes place as they hone and perfect that sculpture-on-paper which they call their story and it helps to have this pointed out to him at least once. It is like a revelation that comes to him, showing that all this time he has been less than aware of the sea of air that surrounds him, allowing his very breath and life. All the while, eyes and mouth agape, he is astounded that he has never noticed this body of substance that he depends upon so fully; not until it is distinctly pointed out to him. Now, fully aware of it for the first time, there is a depth of enjoyment and a fullness that was not a part of his former experience. This is what Budrys has done for me. He has pointed out that in which I was immersed, although I was unaware of my state and condition. He has made the invisible become visible to me. I am grateful for that knowledge. It answers for me the question, “But why does it work that way?”
First, he has laid out the needful parts of a successful and properly written story. These parts are: The beginning, the middle and the end. This sounds so basic at this point—and it is. But then this master teacher goes on to subdivide these portions.
The beginning is divided further into three parts: A character, placed in a context and having a small problem. Again, this seems to be common sense. We all know that there is nothing so uncommon as common sense, however.
This brings us to the middle portion, which is comprised of: 1) an attempt to solve the problem, but meeting with unexpected failure; 2) another attempt, escalating the degree of danger and 3), only on the third attempt, now a life-threatening situation, meeting with success.
The final stage, the end, has only one element--the validation. As Budrys puts it, someone has to say, “He’s dead, Jim.” The reader may already suspect this. It might even be obvious to him, but there is necessary closure in the actual saying of it. This makes for a more satisfying read.
So, there you have the structure of a great story—the beginning in its three parts, the middle with its three and the end with its validation. That is the ‘algebraic formula,’ if you will, that Budrys uses to explain and to write by. The brilliance is in seeing it in the first place. I have no doubt that it is true. One intuitively knows it to be so—once it is pointed out. But there is still a sense of wonder that someone was observant enough to see and describe these principles, obvious though they should have been all this time.
This brings me to the second major lesson he points out. He mentions that the manuscript is not the story. It is simply a vehicle to convey the story. Neither are good grammar nor punctuation the story, but merely the tools of the secretary that transcribes the story. Budrys points out that the real magic is in the ideation, as he calls it (with some repugnance for the word, which he dubs horrid). The thought processes themselves are what make or break the story, I take him to mean. He points out that we are bombarded daily with input that we must filter, process, then file away for future consideration or wholly reject. Most of it is deemed to be mundane and is rejected as such. Some are filed for later use and still fewer are found worthy of being called ‘interesting.’ The latter class is filtered even further, cut and spliced and ultimately these, too, are either filed or rejected. We are, Budrys says, what we were. Everything that we are exposed to—our experience—is what we are, what we write, think and judge all of life against.
So,...ideas--where do they come from? Who knows, really? They may seem to come full-blown and out of nowhere, taking us by surprise. This we call inspiration. Budrys maintains that even these thoughts are first filtered through our experience, processed in accordance with what we know and then filed for our consideration. I am not certain that I agree with this, being that it would seem a subtle attempt to take God out of the equation at times, but the question of what ideas are and where they come from is fascinating, nonetheless. They are certainly more than just electrical firings and chemical conversions, Pavlovian responses to external stimuli, whether consciously noticed or not. If experience has taught me anything, it is that—if you will pardon the pun.
Budrys divides this ideation-to-story process into three parts also. Getting the idea, getting the words and getting the right words. If you have ever written and edited, you already know this to be so. Again, the brilliance is in pointing it out so lucidly. What should be obvious is not always so. Often the writing experience is a left brain/right brain experience. The creative muse takes off and leads the writer into far off lands of wonder that ends up on the paper (or PC) and then the editor takes over and cuts and polishes the rough diamond we call the first draft. It may take repeated polishings. In fact, it probably should, if it is to reach its true potential.
Budrys also offers that writer’s block is nothing more than a failure to process incoming data or the failure to draw from the “file cabinet” of experience that which we wish to record eloquently onto paper. There are many causes of this, he postulates. Though he does not mention fatigue or malnutrition, he does go into the subject of the recreational use of various drugs, traditionally used by creative minds to ‘enhance’ the process. He also throws such proclaimed ‘attributes’ into the trash bin and labels them as the rubbish they deserve to be. Budrys recognizes that such substances may seem to jog the thought processes for a time, before finally becoming a greater hindrance and stumbling block to the author who only wished in the first place to remove a much smaller version of the same.
What is the answer? Sometimes just rest and diversion. Our minds process a lot more than we give credit for. And this is done at the subliminal level most of the time. I found this to be true in the instance of my vignette The Guitar, included elsewhere in this blog. It came at about midnight when I was worn out and wanted only to go to bed. Inspiration had other ideas, however. I had been listening to the music of Jesse Cooke and talking to my son about the concert he had just attended with his wife. When the story hit, it was powerful and nearly full-blown in structure. I knew instinctively that if I let it wait until the morning, it would be all but gone. It was not the kind that y7ou make a brief note and intend to develop it later. This one was a gift from somewhere else and I needed to open it right away or lose it. Half an hour later, I had a cut and nearly polished diamond that would wait until morning for a final polishing. And I assure you, I slept much better that night, knowing I had not squandered the gift when it was given. The sacrifice of 30 minutes of sleep was gratifying in the short term and rewarding for the long term.
New diversions, new environments and different sources of stimulation may be all that we need to change our ‘input’ and as a result, the filtering and processing of what goes into the ‘files’ of our brains. ‘As a man thinketh, so is he,’ says the old adage. Now you know why. And now that you know what the essential parts and points of a great story are, do you think you can write one?
Algis Budrys is a genius. He is also an author, an editor, a publisher and an outstanding teacher; it is the genius part that I wish to discuss right now, however. In his amazingly valuable, though diminutive book, Writing to The Point—A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction, he lays out some of the most sensible guidelines for writing that I have ever heard. These are things that consciously escape the average person and all but the better writers, but Budrys manages to make them seem so simple and obvious that one is left in either stunned reverence for his insight or is nodding one’s head in respectful agreement, thinking these to be the most wonderful of examples of common sense. I find myself doing both. And that is after finding that I have already been following those principles either instinctively or as a result of some osmotic training gained as a youthful reader.
Budrys, in a mere 63 pages, distills the essence of good fiction writing and places it evenly and sequentially upon the pages for the receptive student to absorb with wonder and awe.
As a writer, I have often found words to be a barrier, rather than a tool. They are at times clunky and painful, lending barely a hint of the meanings that I would wish to convey to others. At times like these, I want nothing more than to be able to ‘plug into’ those I am attempting to communicate with and relay my thoughts and feelings in their purity, untainted by the less than adequate tool we call speech.
At other times, words come with such ease and so fluently that I am in awe of the process and I wonder that such things could be emanating from me! I am thankful to be the channel through which they come, nonetheless.
Algis Budrys lays out two tremendous lessons that even the advanced writer may benefit from. Such an author may not be truly aware of the process that takes place as they hone and perfect that sculpture-on-paper which they call their story and it helps to have this pointed out to him at least once. It is like a revelation that comes to him, showing that all this time he has been less than aware of the sea of air that surrounds him, allowing his very breath and life. All the while, eyes and mouth agape, he is astounded that he has never noticed this body of substance that he depends upon so fully; not until it is distinctly pointed out to him. Now, fully aware of it for the first time, there is a depth of enjoyment and a fullness that was not a part of his former experience. This is what Budrys has done for me. He has pointed out that in which I was immersed, although I was unaware of my state and condition. He has made the invisible become visible to me. I am grateful for that knowledge. It answers for me the question, “But why does it work that way?”
First, he has laid out the needful parts of a successful and properly written story. These parts are: The beginning, the middle and the end. This sounds so basic at this point—and it is. But then this master teacher goes on to subdivide these portions.
The beginning is divided further into three parts: A character, placed in a context and having a small problem. Again, this seems to be common sense. We all know that there is nothing so uncommon as common sense, however.
This brings us to the middle portion, which is comprised of: 1) an attempt to solve the problem, but meeting with unexpected failure; 2) another attempt, escalating the degree of danger and 3), only on the third attempt, now a life-threatening situation, meeting with success.
The final stage, the end, has only one element--the validation. As Budrys puts it, someone has to say, “He’s dead, Jim.” The reader may already suspect this. It might even be obvious to him, but there is necessary closure in the actual saying of it. This makes for a more satisfying read.
So, there you have the structure of a great story—the beginning in its three parts, the middle with its three and the end with its validation. That is the ‘algebraic formula,’ if you will, that Budrys uses to explain and to write by. The brilliance is in seeing it in the first place. I have no doubt that it is true. One intuitively knows it to be so—once it is pointed out. But there is still a sense of wonder that someone was observant enough to see and describe these principles, obvious though they should have been all this time.
This brings me to the second major lesson he points out. He mentions that the manuscript is not the story. It is simply a vehicle to convey the story. Neither are good grammar nor punctuation the story, but merely the tools of the secretary that transcribes the story. Budrys points out that the real magic is in the ideation, as he calls it (with some repugnance for the word, which he dubs horrid). The thought processes themselves are what make or break the story, I take him to mean. He points out that we are bombarded daily with input that we must filter, process, then file away for future consideration or wholly reject. Most of it is deemed to be mundane and is rejected as such. Some are filed for later use and still fewer are found worthy of being called ‘interesting.’ The latter class is filtered even further, cut and spliced and ultimately these, too, are either filed or rejected. We are, Budrys says, what we were. Everything that we are exposed to—our experience—is what we are, what we write, think and judge all of life against.
So,...ideas--where do they come from? Who knows, really? They may seem to come full-blown and out of nowhere, taking us by surprise. This we call inspiration. Budrys maintains that even these thoughts are first filtered through our experience, processed in accordance with what we know and then filed for our consideration. I am not certain that I agree with this, being that it would seem a subtle attempt to take God out of the equation at times, but the question of what ideas are and where they come from is fascinating, nonetheless. They are certainly more than just electrical firings and chemical conversions, Pavlovian responses to external stimuli, whether consciously noticed or not. If experience has taught me anything, it is that—if you will pardon the pun.
Budrys divides this ideation-to-story process into three parts also. Getting the idea, getting the words and getting the right words. If you have ever written and edited, you already know this to be so. Again, the brilliance is in pointing it out so lucidly. What should be obvious is not always so. Often the writing experience is a left brain/right brain experience. The creative muse takes off and leads the writer into far off lands of wonder that ends up on the paper (or PC) and then the editor takes over and cuts and polishes the rough diamond we call the first draft. It may take repeated polishings. In fact, it probably should, if it is to reach its true potential.
Budrys also offers that writer’s block is nothing more than a failure to process incoming data or the failure to draw from the “file cabinet” of experience that which we wish to record eloquently onto paper. There are many causes of this, he postulates. Though he does not mention fatigue or malnutrition, he does go into the subject of the recreational use of various drugs, traditionally used by creative minds to ‘enhance’ the process. He also throws such proclaimed ‘attributes’ into the trash bin and labels them as the rubbish they deserve to be. Budrys recognizes that such substances may seem to jog the thought processes for a time, before finally becoming a greater hindrance and stumbling block to the author who only wished in the first place to remove a much smaller version of the same.
What is the answer? Sometimes just rest and diversion. Our minds process a lot more than we give credit for. And this is done at the subliminal level most of the time. I found this to be true in the instance of my vignette The Guitar, included elsewhere in this blog. It came at about midnight when I was worn out and wanted only to go to bed. Inspiration had other ideas, however. I had been listening to the music of Jesse Cooke and talking to my son about the concert he had just attended with his wife. When the story hit, it was powerful and nearly full-blown in structure. I knew instinctively that if I let it wait until the morning, it would be all but gone. It was not the kind that y7ou make a brief note and intend to develop it later. This one was a gift from somewhere else and I needed to open it right away or lose it. Half an hour later, I had a cut and nearly polished diamond that would wait until morning for a final polishing. And I assure you, I slept much better that night, knowing I had not squandered the gift when it was given. The sacrifice of 30 minutes of sleep was gratifying in the short term and rewarding for the long term.
New diversions, new environments and different sources of stimulation may be all that we need to change our ‘input’ and as a result, the filtering and processing of what goes into the ‘files’ of our brains. ‘As a man thinketh, so is he,’ says the old adage. Now you know why. And now that you know what the essential parts and points of a great story are, do you think you can write one?
How Do Authors Learn To Write?
How do you learn to write and write well?
Recently I have been reading the advice of several successful authors and publishing editors. More often than not (all humility aside), I have been pleased to see that my instincts and what I had learned via osmosis have been right on the money.
I still have to admit that I did not get all of this skill on my own, just out of the air. That we all have unique, innate talents is obvious to each of us. But we also have intuitive reasoning; subconscious abilities that sort out chaff from grain, if you will. I was pleased to see that mine have usually been in tune and working smoothly.
I learned a tremendous amount about the skills of writing a well-structured story by reading well-structured stories by the best of authors. I was doing this as a kid and as a teenager; not knowing it was preparing me to write novels and vignettes of my own. I was reading for entertainment value alone at that time. But an amazing thing happened in the process; the skills needed to follow the lead of these master writers seeped into my brain as I read their works. I learned without knowing that I was doing so. Subliminal learning at its best. Let me tell you, I read so many books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Lester Del Rey and others that it would have been a miracle if I had not absorbed their methods. These were true masters; of Sci-Fi, for the most part, but they were plainly and simply master storytellers, first and foremost. I learned from the best.
I learned to make it interesting from the start, to establish person, place and problem at the first page. I learned to describe enough to allow the reader to see what I envisioned, in rough form, but not describe too much and thereby rob the reader of being an active participant in his own imagination. I learned how to introduce in stages and steps all the elements that maintain interest and make a good story great—an algebraic formula of sorts, for writing good fiction. This was confirmed as I read Algis Budrys’ Writing to The Point—A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction. This man is a master also. How gratifying it was to find that I was instinctively following his recommendations. I knew then that the responses I got to my audience testing was no accident.
Once having written my first novel’s manuscript, I put it to the test—the most brutal test an author can endure. I actually asked strangers, armed with the naked truth regarding what they liked or disliked about my work, to let me have it with both barrels and without reserve. They owed me nothing but the truth and I wanted no praise--unless it was deserved (hey, I’m only human). I went to two basic groups of readers—those who liked thriller/romance novels and those who didn’t.
The first group would be my “experts.” They were familiar with the genre and could tell me how high my “suck factor” was.
The second group was the acid test. If they didn’t usually care for this type of writing and they didn’t like mine, so what? But, if they did like it…. YES! We have a winner!
You need to have a thick skin and a genuine desire to know the truth about your abilities (or disabilities) when you place your “baby” on the table and wait to see whether your readers will devour it…or DEVOUR it. (Either way, with relish…mmm, relish….)
Again, my instincts paid off. This was the right test to perform. I learned a lot, from those who did entire manuscript edits for me (thank you again, Christine), to those who loved it as is. They told me what worked and what didn’t work. This is invaluable to me as an author. I suggest it can be invaluable to you, too.
Responses ranged from, “I found it to be entertaining, which surprised me, being this genre” to “I couldn’t put it down!” Overall, I considered this to be extremely gratifying and a success as a test. Those who suggested changes in the storyline or wording were taken seriously, although I did not always follow their advice in all things. I still had to trust my instincts to a great degree. After all, they had not seemed to let me down at that point. You will have to trust yours, also. The day may come that you stand up to an editor and politely say, “Not this time. It works—why mess with perfection?” At other times, you will just know the editor is correct in his suggestions. Give and take—opposition in all things.
I must say that I was somewhat surprised to find that not all authors go to these lengths to test their work. I guess I knew that all authors would have slightly differing approaches, to some degree, but it still struck me as a surprise that successfully published authors might not test in this manner--and I can’t truthfully explain why it surprised me; it just did. I can only say that I am glad I went that route and that I intend to repeat that method in the future.
Whatever method you may choose to follow, I wish you the best. And please come back and share it with me—whether it works or not. We all learn from one another.
My conclusion—authors get to be good writers by first being good readers.
All articles posted here are copyright of Steven G. O’Dell, unless otherwise noted.
Recently I have been reading the advice of several successful authors and publishing editors. More often than not (all humility aside), I have been pleased to see that my instincts and what I had learned via osmosis have been right on the money.
I still have to admit that I did not get all of this skill on my own, just out of the air. That we all have unique, innate talents is obvious to each of us. But we also have intuitive reasoning; subconscious abilities that sort out chaff from grain, if you will. I was pleased to see that mine have usually been in tune and working smoothly.
I learned a tremendous amount about the skills of writing a well-structured story by reading well-structured stories by the best of authors. I was doing this as a kid and as a teenager; not knowing it was preparing me to write novels and vignettes of my own. I was reading for entertainment value alone at that time. But an amazing thing happened in the process; the skills needed to follow the lead of these master writers seeped into my brain as I read their works. I learned without knowing that I was doing so. Subliminal learning at its best. Let me tell you, I read so many books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Lester Del Rey and others that it would have been a miracle if I had not absorbed their methods. These were true masters; of Sci-Fi, for the most part, but they were plainly and simply master storytellers, first and foremost. I learned from the best.
I learned to make it interesting from the start, to establish person, place and problem at the first page. I learned to describe enough to allow the reader to see what I envisioned, in rough form, but not describe too much and thereby rob the reader of being an active participant in his own imagination. I learned how to introduce in stages and steps all the elements that maintain interest and make a good story great—an algebraic formula of sorts, for writing good fiction. This was confirmed as I read Algis Budrys’ Writing to The Point—A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction. This man is a master also. How gratifying it was to find that I was instinctively following his recommendations. I knew then that the responses I got to my audience testing was no accident.
Once having written my first novel’s manuscript, I put it to the test—the most brutal test an author can endure. I actually asked strangers, armed with the naked truth regarding what they liked or disliked about my work, to let me have it with both barrels and without reserve. They owed me nothing but the truth and I wanted no praise--unless it was deserved (hey, I’m only human). I went to two basic groups of readers—those who liked thriller/romance novels and those who didn’t.
The first group would be my “experts.” They were familiar with the genre and could tell me how high my “suck factor” was.
The second group was the acid test. If they didn’t usually care for this type of writing and they didn’t like mine, so what? But, if they did like it…. YES! We have a winner!
You need to have a thick skin and a genuine desire to know the truth about your abilities (or disabilities) when you place your “baby” on the table and wait to see whether your readers will devour it…or DEVOUR it. (Either way, with relish…mmm, relish….)
Again, my instincts paid off. This was the right test to perform. I learned a lot, from those who did entire manuscript edits for me (thank you again, Christine), to those who loved it as is. They told me what worked and what didn’t work. This is invaluable to me as an author. I suggest it can be invaluable to you, too.
Responses ranged from, “I found it to be entertaining, which surprised me, being this genre” to “I couldn’t put it down!” Overall, I considered this to be extremely gratifying and a success as a test. Those who suggested changes in the storyline or wording were taken seriously, although I did not always follow their advice in all things. I still had to trust my instincts to a great degree. After all, they had not seemed to let me down at that point. You will have to trust yours, also. The day may come that you stand up to an editor and politely say, “Not this time. It works—why mess with perfection?” At other times, you will just know the editor is correct in his suggestions. Give and take—opposition in all things.
I must say that I was somewhat surprised to find that not all authors go to these lengths to test their work. I guess I knew that all authors would have slightly differing approaches, to some degree, but it still struck me as a surprise that successfully published authors might not test in this manner--and I can’t truthfully explain why it surprised me; it just did. I can only say that I am glad I went that route and that I intend to repeat that method in the future.
Whatever method you may choose to follow, I wish you the best. And please come back and share it with me—whether it works or not. We all learn from one another.
My conclusion—authors get to be good writers by first being good readers.
All articles posted here are copyright of Steven G. O’Dell, unless otherwise noted.
The Famous Mr. Edit
Enough, already!
As an author, you may find yourself suffering from a terrible syndrome that reveals its ugly head over and over. Just when you thought it was safe to wade into your next story….CHOMP! It gets you, biting from beneath—you find yourself in the jaws of the editor’s chair again. Why can’t you just write? Should you just write?
Maybe it is time to coin a new term (unless someone has already beaten me to the punch)—Attention Hyperactive Disorder—just in case you thought you were acting AHD-ly. You may have an overactive compulsion to edit and re-edit your work. Only you can say when this obsession has gone too far, but there is something you may need to know, and that is…all the very best writers seem to suffer from this compulsion. Feel better?
Yeah, I know, I know! But I do it all the time. I’m doing it again, currently. This may be my fifth edit—I’ve lost count—it may be more. I used to think it a waste of time (mainly due to the…how do I say this nicely…’nagging’ of others to ‘just get it out there!’) However, I don’t consider it a waste of time anymore—not after reading of those who suffered the same disease and yet became famous as published authors. They went the extra mile, too.
There are, to be honest, two ways one may look at this. First, you might take the approach that the editors of publishing companies get paid to do that for you, so why not save your time and write new material while they are doing their job? Well, there are those editors who feel that way, to be sure—the ‘how dare you edit FOR me’ line of reasoning. But I also think you will find this kind to be few and far between. Author Algis Budrys, in his excellent work, Writing to The Point, A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction, verifies that some editors feel that the writer should stick to writing and let the editor do the editing, i.e. decide what is good and what isn’t, what needs to be rewritten and what doesn’t. Evidently there are editors who feel you may be very good at putting your creativity on paper, but not at deciding which portions of it are worth keeping.
So be it. That may be true. I have read some fascinating and intriguing works of fiction that had all the main elements captured on paper—complete with grammatical errors, poor punctuation and lousy sentence structure. Still, the promise and potential were intact and I could see the “movie” in my head. The author had captured it and captured me as the reader. Well done, I say.
Now, speaking as an “editor”…reading these was also very painful at times, especially if the errors were every few sentences. I have an eye for many details in the writings of others that I often do not have in my own. I ‘know’ what I meant as opposed to what I said, so to edit my own work may not be 100% productive. The intent comes through stronger than the reality, quite often. Maybe you have experienced that also. That is when I have been blessed to have very able volunteers, recruited friends and even strangers who edit and critique in return for a chance to read a new and unreleased novel. (A thick skin and a willing heart are what an author needs if he or she wishes to have a truly ‘clean’ manuscript). In these cases, I would say that letting the editor do his or her job is not outside the realm of reason. But I hasten to add that there is also another voice inside me that argues an opposing view.
This second voice (I know what you’re thinking and it doesn’t hurt me—I have been accused of being crazy many times before, I assure you—and by folks who know me much better than you) says that I should now go on from finding all the mis-spellings, duplicate words and so forth and now streamline the sentence structure. Oy! What a pain.
But, the voice is right, in my opinion. The more I polish, the more professional I appear to be; the more acquainted with my native language I show myself to be. The easier I make his job! Why is that important? Not for the reason you may be thinking.
My line of reasoning is that it allows the editor to read through from end to end without the typical editing distractions that would make him less likely to become hopelessly engrossed in the tale I have attempted to weave. In other words, I want to bait the hook, lure the fish, hook him and reel him in—and not stop until he is in the boat, on dry land, then in the pan! Isn’t that the goal for a fisherma…er, writer?
What I do not want is for him to be thinking, “Oops, another punctuation error. And here is a repeated word.” The longer I can get him to read without thinking like an editor, the better for me AND him. I want to entertain him, to entice and charm and capture! I want my manuscript on his desk and not in his wastebasket. Ultimately, I want him to be suddenly and unexpectedly finishing the book and be thinking, “Wow! Where did the time go? That was amazing!”
In short, I wish to treat the editor no differently than I treat the reading audience. If I can convince him that he is just an entertained reader for that hour or so, I have won. That is why I edit and re-edit, until there is no more edit left in me. Maybe now you can understand my obsession and the reasoning behind it—and feel better about your own.
Do what you may, but as for me and my pen, we shall edit the word.
Further Thoughts: How many rewrites is enough? Hmmmm,......you tell me. Read the link below and decide for yourself. My first novel has been two official rewrites so far and 4 or more strong tweaks after that. And still in testing phase at this time. They say you are truly done when you can't stand to look at it anymore.
Link: http://www.latterdayauthors.com/fiction/dgw+edits.htm
As an author, you may find yourself suffering from a terrible syndrome that reveals its ugly head over and over. Just when you thought it was safe to wade into your next story….CHOMP! It gets you, biting from beneath—you find yourself in the jaws of the editor’s chair again. Why can’t you just write? Should you just write?
Maybe it is time to coin a new term (unless someone has already beaten me to the punch)—Attention Hyperactive Disorder—just in case you thought you were acting AHD-ly. You may have an overactive compulsion to edit and re-edit your work. Only you can say when this obsession has gone too far, but there is something you may need to know, and that is…all the very best writers seem to suffer from this compulsion. Feel better?
Yeah, I know, I know! But I do it all the time. I’m doing it again, currently. This may be my fifth edit—I’ve lost count—it may be more. I used to think it a waste of time (mainly due to the…how do I say this nicely…’nagging’ of others to ‘just get it out there!’) However, I don’t consider it a waste of time anymore—not after reading of those who suffered the same disease and yet became famous as published authors. They went the extra mile, too.
There are, to be honest, two ways one may look at this. First, you might take the approach that the editors of publishing companies get paid to do that for you, so why not save your time and write new material while they are doing their job? Well, there are those editors who feel that way, to be sure—the ‘how dare you edit FOR me’ line of reasoning. But I also think you will find this kind to be few and far between. Author Algis Budrys, in his excellent work, Writing to The Point, A Complete Guide to Selling Fiction, verifies that some editors feel that the writer should stick to writing and let the editor do the editing, i.e. decide what is good and what isn’t, what needs to be rewritten and what doesn’t. Evidently there are editors who feel you may be very good at putting your creativity on paper, but not at deciding which portions of it are worth keeping.
So be it. That may be true. I have read some fascinating and intriguing works of fiction that had all the main elements captured on paper—complete with grammatical errors, poor punctuation and lousy sentence structure. Still, the promise and potential were intact and I could see the “movie” in my head. The author had captured it and captured me as the reader. Well done, I say.
Now, speaking as an “editor”…reading these was also very painful at times, especially if the errors were every few sentences. I have an eye for many details in the writings of others that I often do not have in my own. I ‘know’ what I meant as opposed to what I said, so to edit my own work may not be 100% productive. The intent comes through stronger than the reality, quite often. Maybe you have experienced that also. That is when I have been blessed to have very able volunteers, recruited friends and even strangers who edit and critique in return for a chance to read a new and unreleased novel. (A thick skin and a willing heart are what an author needs if he or she wishes to have a truly ‘clean’ manuscript). In these cases, I would say that letting the editor do his or her job is not outside the realm of reason. But I hasten to add that there is also another voice inside me that argues an opposing view.
This second voice (I know what you’re thinking and it doesn’t hurt me—I have been accused of being crazy many times before, I assure you—and by folks who know me much better than you) says that I should now go on from finding all the mis-spellings, duplicate words and so forth and now streamline the sentence structure. Oy! What a pain.
But, the voice is right, in my opinion. The more I polish, the more professional I appear to be; the more acquainted with my native language I show myself to be. The easier I make his job! Why is that important? Not for the reason you may be thinking.
My line of reasoning is that it allows the editor to read through from end to end without the typical editing distractions that would make him less likely to become hopelessly engrossed in the tale I have attempted to weave. In other words, I want to bait the hook, lure the fish, hook him and reel him in—and not stop until he is in the boat, on dry land, then in the pan! Isn’t that the goal for a fisherma…er, writer?
What I do not want is for him to be thinking, “Oops, another punctuation error. And here is a repeated word.” The longer I can get him to read without thinking like an editor, the better for me AND him. I want to entertain him, to entice and charm and capture! I want my manuscript on his desk and not in his wastebasket. Ultimately, I want him to be suddenly and unexpectedly finishing the book and be thinking, “Wow! Where did the time go? That was amazing!”
In short, I wish to treat the editor no differently than I treat the reading audience. If I can convince him that he is just an entertained reader for that hour or so, I have won. That is why I edit and re-edit, until there is no more edit left in me. Maybe now you can understand my obsession and the reasoning behind it—and feel better about your own.
Do what you may, but as for me and my pen, we shall edit the word.
Further Thoughts: How many rewrites is enough? Hmmmm,......you tell me. Read the link below and decide for yourself. My first novel has been two official rewrites so far and 4 or more strong tweaks after that. And still in testing phase at this time. They say you are truly done when you can't stand to look at it anymore.
Link: http://www.latterdayauthors.com/fiction/dgw+edits.htm
I TOLD You So!
I have posted here a wonderful bit of advice from an author whom I recently discovered on the net. It was a surprise to find she is living quite nearby; only 20 miles or so, from me. With her permission, I post her advice, which only reinforces what I have said all along (see, for example, my article “The subject of (blush...) sex”). With that in mind…I told you so!
Are your "Pearls of Wisdom"
littered with dung?
by © Judith Tramayne
Are your "Pearls of Wisdom"
littered with dung?
by © Judith Tramayne
An experienced writer knows just how much dung to toss and how much to keep on his shovel or buried. Throw too much and you lose your reader. Too little and your characters suffer.
There is a very fine line when using swear words in your writing between good taste and smut. So how, as a new writer, do you recognize when you've exceeded the bounds? You ask yourself, "would my characters really say this or am I putting words in their mouth merely for shock value?"
If the answer is the latter, leave it out. But if your characters would rant, rave and swear, use acronyms. For instance, "that SOB better not get in my face again or the Mother dies." You've made your point and your reader will appreciate your good taste. The same holds true when you are describing love scenes in your book. Most people absolutely love the thirty and forties movies which fade to black before they get to the actual love making. Why? Because their imaginations fill in the blanks.
Seeing two people go at it on the big screen is a waste of film and the viewers time. The same holds true in books. Allowing readers to fill in the blanks is perhaps the hardest thing for new writers to overcome. In their exuberance, new writers leave nothing to the imagination. They merrily write down every little detail thinking they are doing the reader a disservice if they don't.
News flash — readers are smart and truly do appreciate an author who tosses just enough dung to land at their feet rather than smack them in the face.
So the next time you're tempted to litter your pearls of wisdom with dung, remember to toss just enough to avoid splattering your reader and then bury the rest.
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You may find more of Judith’s writings at http://www.agoodread.com/. She has posted a link to her freely downloadable mystery/thriller at http://conspiracy-freefictionbook.blogspot.com/. I look forward to reading it.
Movies In Your Mind
With the gracious permission of the author, Judith Tramayne, I post here a great piece about how to begin the concept for your novel or short story. The principles are solid and true. They are also a repeat of my own advice posted here earlier and at latterdayauthors.com [another reason I like her advice…she agrees with me ;-) ]
Thanks you, Judith, for your permission to repost it here.
Let The Movie Run in Your Head
Thanks you, Judith, for your permission to repost it here.
Let The Movie Run in Your Head
by © Judith Tramayne
Everybody and their sister wants to write a novel. Are they capable? Sure. Will they? No. Why? They make it harder than it really is.
Think back to when you were a child and daydreamed. Your imagination soared taking you to places you'd never been or allowed you to do things you couldn't do in real life. Writing a novel is the same.
It's daydreaming one page at a time.
First, you come up with a premise for your novel. I came up with the idea of someone being struck by a bolt of lightning. A simple start but one I let my mind take hold of and run with to produce Conspiracy.
Next, I daydreamed about what could happen to this person. Being intrigued with the idea of ESP throughout my life, the next thought came. What if this person gained super natural powers with her near death experience? Not the usual powers but something totally different.
The more I daydreamed and wrote my "what ifs", the more real my character became. I was no longer directing my character, she was directing me. It was as if a movie was running in my head and all I was doing was taking dictation.
In sports, this would be called "being in the zone." In writing, this is what I call being in the alpha state. The place between consciousness and sleep. You are daydreaming with a purpose. Your mind isn't wandering aimlessly but is totally focused inside your head in this dream or movie.
Time literally seems to stand still while you are in this alpha state. The words flow until your body starts to ache from the waist down because of non-movement. This is when you flip out of the zone and realize hours have gone by and you're surprised at the number of pages you've written.
So you yawn, stand up, stretch and put yourself and your writing to bed knowing this is going to happen day after day, page after page until your novel is finished. Yeah, right -- like your muse is that compliant.
Well yes, it can be if you let it. The trick to flipping in and out of this alpha or daydream state at will is going back over your writing each day and rewriting until your character starts to intrude again. At first, this could take 2 hours or 2 days but it will come because your character likes making his/her movie. And, your daydreaming is their route to the real world.
By the time you're half way through your novel, the time it takes to flip into your alpha state will be as little as 2 to 10 minutes. Why? Because you know your character so well, s/he is immediately there ready to let you view more of the movie so you can take the dictation. In fact if you skip one day to have a "real" life, count on your character berating you for your sloven behavior.
Finally, the day arrives when the movie is finished. Or so you think. Your character has other plans. S/he wants a sequel and begins to show you another movie. So what do you do? You let the movie run in your head.
Bottoms Up!
I recently read one of the funniest pieces of humor I had seen in a long time. The author goes only by the name Sissy and has posted this on fanstory.com. With her generous permission, I repost it here for your enjoyment and study. I feel it is a very well written piece that goes to the heart of the “war between the sexes”, if there is such a thing. If nothing else, it allows a glimpse into the advantage of being able to laugh at ourselves now and then. It is a good tool to study regarding the communication of humor, how to paint those images in the minds of the reader, what words portray the motions and sounds of the events, etc.
I hope none will take offense at the subject matter. It was not meant to poke fun at anyone, but was posted here 1). Because it is funny and 2). It addresses some universal and age-old differences of men and women in communication and understanding. It appeals to the human condition on a basic level and we can all identify with it in one way or another. Enjoy the read—and thank you again, Sissy!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Women Unite!
In 2006, let us all join forces and take up arms against our male counterparts. No, this is not a case for the Honorable Judge Moody. This is personal!
Let me explain.
Sissy Lancombed is going to have a very bad afternoon. After showing her faux Brad Pitt the door, she needs to take a potty break. Too much wine, and she's pretty certain that the venti-three shot-expresso-non-fat-mocha-vanilla-latte from the local coffeehouse chain hasn't helped.
Sashaying into the bathroom, she undoes the hundred-dollar butt-lifter jeans and the Vicky's panties (super-low rise bikini cut, striped) and goes into the age old position—
And the bad afternoon begins.
"OOPH!"
Splash!
I cannot repeat what words are coming out of Miss Lancombed's mouth because, well...it wouldn't be ladylike.
Grabbing hold of the countertop and the towel rack, she struggles mightily for a few minutes, then pulls herself out of the porcelain god. She takes stock of herself, then shrieks in horror. Her posterior, once a subtle shade of khaki from the local tanning salon, is now a horrendous Tid-y-Bowl blue.
See, Sissy Lancombed knows one thing. Her currently blue rear is going to clash terribly with her pale orange striped undies. She undresses with haste and leaps into the shower. She grabs her thirty dollar bottle of moisturizing wash and the loofa, and goes to work.
Still Tid-y-Bowl blue.
Half in a panic, she moves on to the sea salt scrub. Yes, that pricey one from Crabtree and Evelyn. She's sure the company did not envision their product being used as a fragrant form of Comet or Ajax...but these are desperate times.
The Tid-y-Bowl color holds fast.
Why is it so hard for men to put the toilet seat back down? I don't get it. If you can remember to put it up, why not back down again? I mean, seriously, it's along the same lines as say, zipping one's pants. I mean, occasionally one might forget, but not always!
Now, I know you men out there are reading this and thinking, 'Why can't you ladies just put the toilet seat UP after you use it?'
The answer is very simple. Women always need the toilet seat down. Men need it both down AND up. I don't know any man who does 'Number Two' with the toilet seat up. Do you? Otherwise, they'd find themselves in the same predicament as our heroine, Miss Lancombed--who is currently dissolving into tears because her butt is STILL blue. Resourceful as ever, she is contemplating the use of Crest White Strips on her nether region to restore it to its former glory.
Is it so difficult? The toilet seat, I mean. They aren't there for aesthetic purposes--even the pretty, soft, flowery ones like those in Sissy Lancombed's place. Aren't toilet seats meant to be SAT on?
I believe I learned about some law of physics or gravity or nature in my high school science class that went something like, 'What goes up, must come down.' Surely men can see the wisdom in that?
Maybe not, thinks Miss Lancombed, as she pulls on a pair of blue and white striped undies and a matching bra. Then the jeans and a light blue cashmere sweater. Now, at least her clothes match her behind, which makes her situation more bearable. She dries her hair into a perfectly coiffed helmet and heads for the door. Maybe the tanning salon can help.
Toilet seats need a timer. Better yet, how about one of those red dot laser sensors that are so common in rest stops, movie theater and Wal-Mart rest rooms? You know, the little dot that beams into your bare back as you use the facilities and causes the toilet to flush, generally with great force, as you rise to a standing position and release the used tissue.
Hey! Every toilet seat should come with these! The Man could lift the seat, do his thing and then as the targeted form steps away, the sensor on the underside of the seat would signal for its descent. Come on, it could work! That way, we wouldn't have to hear excuse like, "I forgot" or "I heard the game come back on" or "I thought I DID put it back down!"
It might save a lot of relationships AND prevent the spread of some pretty gross germs.
After all, it's one thing to land tush-first in our OWN toilets--quite another to splash down into an unfamiliar toilet at a party or in a unisex bathroom...
EUUWWWWW.
Or maybe our men should just try harder. After all, it really is just a silly little thing, isn't it?
I hope none will take offense at the subject matter. It was not meant to poke fun at anyone, but was posted here 1). Because it is funny and 2). It addresses some universal and age-old differences of men and women in communication and understanding. It appeals to the human condition on a basic level and we can all identify with it in one way or another. Enjoy the read—and thank you again, Sissy!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Women Unite!
In 2006, let us all join forces and take up arms against our male counterparts. No, this is not a case for the Honorable Judge Moody. This is personal!
Let me explain.
Sissy Lancombed is going to have a very bad afternoon. After showing her faux Brad Pitt the door, she needs to take a potty break. Too much wine, and she's pretty certain that the venti-three shot-expresso-non-fat-mocha-vanilla-latte from the local coffeehouse chain hasn't helped.
Sashaying into the bathroom, she undoes the hundred-dollar butt-lifter jeans and the Vicky's panties (super-low rise bikini cut, striped) and goes into the age old position—
And the bad afternoon begins.
"OOPH!"
Splash!
I cannot repeat what words are coming out of Miss Lancombed's mouth because, well...it wouldn't be ladylike.
Grabbing hold of the countertop and the towel rack, she struggles mightily for a few minutes, then pulls herself out of the porcelain god. She takes stock of herself, then shrieks in horror. Her posterior, once a subtle shade of khaki from the local tanning salon, is now a horrendous Tid-y-Bowl blue.
See, Sissy Lancombed knows one thing. Her currently blue rear is going to clash terribly with her pale orange striped undies. She undresses with haste and leaps into the shower. She grabs her thirty dollar bottle of moisturizing wash and the loofa, and goes to work.
Still Tid-y-Bowl blue.
Half in a panic, she moves on to the sea salt scrub. Yes, that pricey one from Crabtree and Evelyn. She's sure the company did not envision their product being used as a fragrant form of Comet or Ajax...but these are desperate times.
The Tid-y-Bowl color holds fast.
Why is it so hard for men to put the toilet seat back down? I don't get it. If you can remember to put it up, why not back down again? I mean, seriously, it's along the same lines as say, zipping one's pants. I mean, occasionally one might forget, but not always!
Now, I know you men out there are reading this and thinking, 'Why can't you ladies just put the toilet seat UP after you use it?'
The answer is very simple. Women always need the toilet seat down. Men need it both down AND up. I don't know any man who does 'Number Two' with the toilet seat up. Do you? Otherwise, they'd find themselves in the same predicament as our heroine, Miss Lancombed--who is currently dissolving into tears because her butt is STILL blue. Resourceful as ever, she is contemplating the use of Crest White Strips on her nether region to restore it to its former glory.
Is it so difficult? The toilet seat, I mean. They aren't there for aesthetic purposes--even the pretty, soft, flowery ones like those in Sissy Lancombed's place. Aren't toilet seats meant to be SAT on?
I believe I learned about some law of physics or gravity or nature in my high school science class that went something like, 'What goes up, must come down.' Surely men can see the wisdom in that?
Maybe not, thinks Miss Lancombed, as she pulls on a pair of blue and white striped undies and a matching bra. Then the jeans and a light blue cashmere sweater. Now, at least her clothes match her behind, which makes her situation more bearable. She dries her hair into a perfectly coiffed helmet and heads for the door. Maybe the tanning salon can help.
Toilet seats need a timer. Better yet, how about one of those red dot laser sensors that are so common in rest stops, movie theater and Wal-Mart rest rooms? You know, the little dot that beams into your bare back as you use the facilities and causes the toilet to flush, generally with great force, as you rise to a standing position and release the used tissue.
Hey! Every toilet seat should come with these! The Man could lift the seat, do his thing and then as the targeted form steps away, the sensor on the underside of the seat would signal for its descent. Come on, it could work! That way, we wouldn't have to hear excuse like, "I forgot" or "I heard the game come back on" or "I thought I DID put it back down!"
It might save a lot of relationships AND prevent the spread of some pretty gross germs.
After all, it's one thing to land tush-first in our OWN toilets--quite another to splash down into an unfamiliar toilet at a party or in a unisex bathroom...
EUUWWWWW.
Or maybe our men should just try harder. After all, it really is just a silly little thing, isn't it?
Submission Accomplished!
Here are the submission guidelines required by one publisher. I post this link as an example only and not as an endorsement. It is for educational purposes and should be taken seriously. There are far too many aspiring “authors” playing fast and loose with the rules of good writing. I do not claim to be an expert myself, but I do know that there have been many samples of late that I have read and been angered, frustrated and nearly nauseated by. If this seems harsh, know that I lay a great deal of the blame at the feet of the (if you can use the term without laughing) school system in our country today. The more money they throw at it, the worse it gets. Perhaps it is time for putting it out of its misery and letting private schools compete more frequently. Okay, enough ranting. Here is the link. Pay close attention.
http://trebleheartbooks.com/files/Submission_Guidelines.htm
http://trebleheartbooks.com/files/Submission_Guidelines.htm
Do It With Style
Here is a link to one publisher, defining their style sheet requirements. It tells exactly what they expect when you submit your works to them. You can imagine what would happen if they did not specify. There would be submissions using every means from email to books written on brown paper shopping bags. So, read it and keep.
http://trebleheartbooks.com/StyleSheet.html
http://trebleheartbooks.com/StyleSheet.html
A Picture Worth A Thousand Words
To illustrate a point, let me quote the specifications listed by James A. Rock Publishing in the 2005 Writer’s Market. This is meant to be a wakeup call to those who think they can write as sloppily and loosely as they want. Hold your nose and swallow quickly and it won’t taste as bad, okay?
P.307 of 2005 Writer’s Market:
“Grammar, language, punctuation and spelling count heavily. We edit all manuscripts for style and content, and we do not want to read sloppy, unschooled or badly written manuscripts. If you are composing in English, we expect you to be in control of your instrument. We are rather conservative when it comes to punctuation.”
And there you have it. As concise and clear as this is, nothing more need be said--except to have a friend who is good at editing go over your work.
P.307 of 2005 Writer’s Market:
“Grammar, language, punctuation and spelling count heavily. We edit all manuscripts for style and content, and we do not want to read sloppy, unschooled or badly written manuscripts. If you are composing in English, we expect you to be in control of your instrument. We are rather conservative when it comes to punctuation.”
And there you have it. As concise and clear as this is, nothing more need be said--except to have a friend who is good at editing go over your work.
When Your Writing Sucks
When Your Writing Sucks
and What To Do About It
Let’s face it—every now and then you recognize that, as a writer, things just aren’t going as you might have hoped. In fact, in being totally honest with yourself, you conclude that there is no denying that your writing just plain ‘sucks swamp water through a straw today’. Well, no need to feel alone. We all go through it at one time or another. Even the famous writers wrestle with the same problem. Feeling better? Didn’t think so. But, now that you know the club is much larger than you had originally envisioned, your next question is ‘what can I do to remedy the situation’, right?
Well, we never want to overlook the obvious. (No, I’m not suggesting that you just plain 100% suck as a writer.) Any number of variables may be affecting your writing. Let’s take a few moments to consider some of them. This will not be an exhaustive list, by any means. Your life is different from that of everyone else and will have certain factors unique to you and you alone, perhaps. Not a problem. We just need to determine the cause(s) of your block and either eliminate them or work around them, that’s all.
Okay, let’s get started, shall we? I will list these points of consideration as ‘possibilities’, for no other reason than I like that better than IM-possibilities. I hope you learn to think of it that way, too.
Possibility #1 – “Not Today!” There is a distinct possibility that today is just not a day you should even try to write. I know—sacrilege in its most virulent form, right? Not so. Do you have a sick child at home that needs your attention? If so, you can be reasonably certain that any time you find to type a few words will be time wasted, unless you are making brief notes as a memory jog. The time it takes to get into the “zone” (mood, for you traditionalists) is a lot longer than the time it takes for a child, a spouse, a phone call or knock at the door to distract you. You need to ask yourself whether you might be better off postponing the author gig altogether, until you can be assured of fewer demands that vie for your time and attention.
Possibility #2 – “Warning! Warning! Meltdown is imminent.” Are you spending too much time at the keys? If you are working too hard to accomplish it, you may be trying to force the muse to give up the goods. One word of advice on this method: “Ain’t gonna happen, Bro.” Creativity cannot be forced. It is not a faucet that you turn on and off when you wish. If you have been writing anything other than school textbooks, you already know that. You may want to walk away for a few hours, a few days or even a week. Rest and relaxation is required now and again. This refreshes the mind and body (relieves tired eyes and “chair-butt syndrome”). While you are considering the physical aspect, you might want to question whether you are using a monitor that is hard on the eyes. A flat screen monitor (LCD type) is much easier on the eyes than a standard CRT monitor. The flicker rate can cause all sorts of trouble for some folks. If you can't afford even a used flat screen monitor, consider whether you can alter the refresh rate of your present screen. This alone could help immensely to relieve eye and brain fatigue.
Possibility #3 – “Pssst! Over here!” On the opposing end is the concern that you may be spending too little time at the keys. If you seldom try to write, you may be having trouble getting a creative flow of any type going. The only cure for this is to write. Choose any topic that interests you. Let the creative side of the brain have free rule while you tell absolutely everything you know about the subject, no matter how dry and boring you may think it is. Later, go back and let the analytical side of your brain take over—this is your critic, your editor and your organizer. Now, assemble the information into logical and reader-friendly blocks. Can you then assemble this into chapters or sections? You may find you have the makings (or the beginnings of the makings) of a non-fiction book that some publisher will be interested in. If this appeals to you, I suggest you read Damn! Why Didn’t I Write That? By Marc McCutcheon. You can find this listed new and used on Amazon.com.
Possibility #4 – “I don’t remember this wall being here yesterday.” You may indeed have genuine writer’s block. Congratulations! That means you are a genuine writer. Okay, so it isn’t making you feel better, but there is an answer to that as well. The answer is as simple as going to a movie, a bookstore or to the mall, in many cases. You need to get away for a while and be exposed to different stimulation. Go see an old friend that you haven’t talked to for some time. Go to an old folks home and visit someone who doesn’t get any other visitors. You will feel better, you can ask a lot of questions (they will love that you are interested in their lives) and you may have the makings of a book—or several. Ask your friends what kind of book they wish were in print—“If you could buy any kind of book right now, what would it be?” Then go to the bookstore and see if any with that topic are on the shelves. If there are few or none, you might have a winner. If there are numerous ones, you might also have a winner. The way to know is to ask the manager how many are actually going out the door. (And while we are at it, ask other friends what they honestly think of that topic). Look over these existing books and if you decide to tackle the project, do these two things: make yours different enough to stand out and/or make it better in some way. Oh…and write a catchy title that won't lull a reader to sleep before the covers are even opened.
Possibility #5 – “Can We Talk?” Okay, so I’m not Joan Rivers, but you may have things on your mind that are troubling you. If you do, you can write about them, talk with a friend about them or just go take care of them and then come back to your writing. If your inner voices are having a ‘rave-in’ while you are attempting to be creative, you must attend to them before you can hope to focus on your writing—unless you are the type that writes about the inner demons you battle (I was always concerned about Stephen King in that respect).
Possibility #6 – “It’s about time!” Again, each of us is different. There is a distinct possibility that you may be writing at the wrong time for you. I am a ‘night owl’ and my wife is a ‘rooster.’ The times I choose to write are when there are fewer distractions. The times she wants to talk to me are very difficult. I feel as if my mind is torn and I get very irritated with the constant ‘channel switching’ I must do. That isn’t good for family relations, so I have to work around it in some manner. You may need to do the same thing. Are mornings best for you? Evenings? Weekends? I don’t write every day, contrary to the popular wisdom. You may not want to or need to, either. I find that I just don't need to or have the inclination to do so. It isn't that mechanical a process to me, so why pretend it is? I strike when the iron is hot, so to speak, and not until.
Possibility #7 – “Oops! Wrong Lane!” It could be that you are trying to put a square peg in a round hole, so to speak. Did it ever occur to you that you might be working on the wrong project at this time? Stranger things can happen—the truth is out there. Maybe you should be working on the non-fiction book or pamphlet instead of the poetry you love to write so much. If your poetry is suffering lately, then consider this strongly. Consider it a change of scenery--a vacation you owe to yourself. Or maybe you are trying to do all of these projects at once? Are you up to the challenge without something suffering terribly as a result? Maybe you need to prioritize your projects and set a timetable to accomplish them (Note: this is not carved in stone, especially if it is counterproductive. Tell your editor that patience is a virtue and that frequent interruptions are a hazard to your creative health--umm...and say it nicely, so you don't burn any bridges).
As I said earlier, this is by no means an exhaustive list. You may have considered items that I haven’t. If you have, you are encouraged to add them in the comment link for this article. The bottom line is this—there are always ways to overcome the problems, if you believe and patiently search for their causes and then diligently work those solutions when they are found.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. ‘Thoughts are things’, someone once said. More and more, I am coming to believe that. The brain is an amazing device. What you tell yourself about yourself is what the mind is programmed to act upon. Shakespeare said, “Assume a virtue and it is yours.” If you think your writing sucks, it will—you are obeyed implicitly. Henry Ford noted, ‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.’ So…what do you think?
and What To Do About It
Let’s face it—every now and then you recognize that, as a writer, things just aren’t going as you might have hoped. In fact, in being totally honest with yourself, you conclude that there is no denying that your writing just plain ‘sucks swamp water through a straw today’. Well, no need to feel alone. We all go through it at one time or another. Even the famous writers wrestle with the same problem. Feeling better? Didn’t think so. But, now that you know the club is much larger than you had originally envisioned, your next question is ‘what can I do to remedy the situation’, right?
Well, we never want to overlook the obvious. (No, I’m not suggesting that you just plain 100% suck as a writer.) Any number of variables may be affecting your writing. Let’s take a few moments to consider some of them. This will not be an exhaustive list, by any means. Your life is different from that of everyone else and will have certain factors unique to you and you alone, perhaps. Not a problem. We just need to determine the cause(s) of your block and either eliminate them or work around them, that’s all.
Okay, let’s get started, shall we? I will list these points of consideration as ‘possibilities’, for no other reason than I like that better than IM-possibilities. I hope you learn to think of it that way, too.
Possibility #1 – “Not Today!” There is a distinct possibility that today is just not a day you should even try to write. I know—sacrilege in its most virulent form, right? Not so. Do you have a sick child at home that needs your attention? If so, you can be reasonably certain that any time you find to type a few words will be time wasted, unless you are making brief notes as a memory jog. The time it takes to get into the “zone” (mood, for you traditionalists) is a lot longer than the time it takes for a child, a spouse, a phone call or knock at the door to distract you. You need to ask yourself whether you might be better off postponing the author gig altogether, until you can be assured of fewer demands that vie for your time and attention.
Possibility #2 – “Warning! Warning! Meltdown is imminent.” Are you spending too much time at the keys? If you are working too hard to accomplish it, you may be trying to force the muse to give up the goods. One word of advice on this method: “Ain’t gonna happen, Bro.” Creativity cannot be forced. It is not a faucet that you turn on and off when you wish. If you have been writing anything other than school textbooks, you already know that. You may want to walk away for a few hours, a few days or even a week. Rest and relaxation is required now and again. This refreshes the mind and body (relieves tired eyes and “chair-butt syndrome”). While you are considering the physical aspect, you might want to question whether you are using a monitor that is hard on the eyes. A flat screen monitor (LCD type) is much easier on the eyes than a standard CRT monitor. The flicker rate can cause all sorts of trouble for some folks. If you can't afford even a used flat screen monitor, consider whether you can alter the refresh rate of your present screen. This alone could help immensely to relieve eye and brain fatigue.
Possibility #3 – “Pssst! Over here!” On the opposing end is the concern that you may be spending too little time at the keys. If you seldom try to write, you may be having trouble getting a creative flow of any type going. The only cure for this is to write. Choose any topic that interests you. Let the creative side of the brain have free rule while you tell absolutely everything you know about the subject, no matter how dry and boring you may think it is. Later, go back and let the analytical side of your brain take over—this is your critic, your editor and your organizer. Now, assemble the information into logical and reader-friendly blocks. Can you then assemble this into chapters or sections? You may find you have the makings (or the beginnings of the makings) of a non-fiction book that some publisher will be interested in. If this appeals to you, I suggest you read Damn! Why Didn’t I Write That? By Marc McCutcheon. You can find this listed new and used on Amazon.com.
Possibility #4 – “I don’t remember this wall being here yesterday.” You may indeed have genuine writer’s block. Congratulations! That means you are a genuine writer. Okay, so it isn’t making you feel better, but there is an answer to that as well. The answer is as simple as going to a movie, a bookstore or to the mall, in many cases. You need to get away for a while and be exposed to different stimulation. Go see an old friend that you haven’t talked to for some time. Go to an old folks home and visit someone who doesn’t get any other visitors. You will feel better, you can ask a lot of questions (they will love that you are interested in their lives) and you may have the makings of a book—or several. Ask your friends what kind of book they wish were in print—“If you could buy any kind of book right now, what would it be?” Then go to the bookstore and see if any with that topic are on the shelves. If there are few or none, you might have a winner. If there are numerous ones, you might also have a winner. The way to know is to ask the manager how many are actually going out the door. (And while we are at it, ask other friends what they honestly think of that topic). Look over these existing books and if you decide to tackle the project, do these two things: make yours different enough to stand out and/or make it better in some way. Oh…and write a catchy title that won't lull a reader to sleep before the covers are even opened.
Possibility #5 – “Can We Talk?” Okay, so I’m not Joan Rivers, but you may have things on your mind that are troubling you. If you do, you can write about them, talk with a friend about them or just go take care of them and then come back to your writing. If your inner voices are having a ‘rave-in’ while you are attempting to be creative, you must attend to them before you can hope to focus on your writing—unless you are the type that writes about the inner demons you battle (I was always concerned about Stephen King in that respect).
Possibility #6 – “It’s about time!” Again, each of us is different. There is a distinct possibility that you may be writing at the wrong time for you. I am a ‘night owl’ and my wife is a ‘rooster.’ The times I choose to write are when there are fewer distractions. The times she wants to talk to me are very difficult. I feel as if my mind is torn and I get very irritated with the constant ‘channel switching’ I must do. That isn’t good for family relations, so I have to work around it in some manner. You may need to do the same thing. Are mornings best for you? Evenings? Weekends? I don’t write every day, contrary to the popular wisdom. You may not want to or need to, either. I find that I just don't need to or have the inclination to do so. It isn't that mechanical a process to me, so why pretend it is? I strike when the iron is hot, so to speak, and not until.
Possibility #7 – “Oops! Wrong Lane!” It could be that you are trying to put a square peg in a round hole, so to speak. Did it ever occur to you that you might be working on the wrong project at this time? Stranger things can happen—the truth is out there. Maybe you should be working on the non-fiction book or pamphlet instead of the poetry you love to write so much. If your poetry is suffering lately, then consider this strongly. Consider it a change of scenery--a vacation you owe to yourself. Or maybe you are trying to do all of these projects at once? Are you up to the challenge without something suffering terribly as a result? Maybe you need to prioritize your projects and set a timetable to accomplish them (Note: this is not carved in stone, especially if it is counterproductive. Tell your editor that patience is a virtue and that frequent interruptions are a hazard to your creative health--umm...and say it nicely, so you don't burn any bridges).
As I said earlier, this is by no means an exhaustive list. You may have considered items that I haven’t. If you have, you are encouraged to add them in the comment link for this article. The bottom line is this—there are always ways to overcome the problems, if you believe and patiently search for their causes and then diligently work those solutions when they are found.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. ‘Thoughts are things’, someone once said. More and more, I am coming to believe that. The brain is an amazing device. What you tell yourself about yourself is what the mind is programmed to act upon. Shakespeare said, “Assume a virtue and it is yours.” If you think your writing sucks, it will—you are obeyed implicitly. Henry Ford noted, ‘Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.’ So…what do you think?
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